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‘I had a great time getting fat and now I’m going to have an even greater time losing weight.‘
‘From day one, audiences didn’t show up. They didn’t even read the reviews in the South because the media was using the words “Alex
the gay .
WARK/DON'T WARK
Jack and Kirsty go on holiday
I lhe excrterrrerit oger Jack h/lcCorrriell's iéllllll‘,’ holrrla‘, at Hermann/girl presenter Kllf)i‘,' Wark's Spanish '.’|ll(l continued. The .‘Jcotsrrrarr. ever a trierid to the BBC. (,llli)i)i}(l away at the story for days alter'\.varrls. ridiculing thr- first
‘Take for example the Jewish culture. They’ve been persecuted just like the black people, right? But you never see them eating their own. They don’t. But we will.’
minister‘s claim that the break .‘rould have cost less than S‘I’hl) the threshold above ‘.‘/lll(lll MSi’s must declare gifts and hospitality. l/re lt/rrrhurglr ["verrrriq News. meanwhile. was acting less like a local newspaper and more like a hitmari. '[McConriell's] accusation that Scottish Journalists are
stirring it up because they're Jealous of ’ Noe _ Ms Wark is rrisultrrig.‘ rt muttered coun’q’o'ie .I d 1 . I - . . on t want to be nasty, ominously. 'l le || pay for that mistake. but Robbie is no Freddie The Herald. rrieariwhile. stayed well Mercury. Freddie can never away. Its only coverage consisted ol be rep|aced. And certaimy Ruth Wishar’t who. Ill between telling not by him.’ us that Donald Dewar used to raid her Glossies and dailies work up a sweat over diets _\ 1,... , : . fridge and that she has watched TV I ‘If you've been following the diet.‘ says Bel/a of its own fitness plan. ‘you ; r ; r r, g g , wrth Tory MSP Annabel Goldie. should already have lost up to (ill) and have brighter skin, glossrer hair and blasted the press. 'lt would be difficult more energy.‘ Are we alone in detecting an undercurrent of resrgnatron to find any occasion regarding any amidst the exhortations to puppyish health? Diet tips abound in the January story where someone like Kirsty Wark press. but many, whether due to post-Atkins fatigue or simple pragmatism ‘I don’t like to watch my could be accused of being anything seem (whisper it) almost attainable. own movies. I fall asleep.’ other than a consummate I This year’s big trend is the Glycemic Index (GI). Kylie, the Clintons i: b.» ‘ ' ~ ' r r .- « r r professional] she raged. ‘Sadly. there and Kim Cattrall are all fans, says the Independent on Sunday, while is no shortage of people in Scotland the diet is ‘said’ to be a favourite with top athletes. Tesco has already deeply offended by success. started re-labelling products to incorporate the index. ‘It means ‘I went to Wal-Mart for the especially when it comes wrapped in cutting back on white bread and rice and instead filling up on first time. I always thought a skrrt.‘ VVlllCll must be why the SNP wholegrains and greens,’ says The Scotsman. ‘In other words, eat they sold wallpaper.’ have been slaggrng off McConnell's sensibly. So, what is all the fuss about?’ l' ’ :' r" ‘ ' ,' I ' " " " prnstrrped krlt of late. I Cynics might suggest that a straighthrward diet that still involves a spot of ' counting is just what self-absorbed weight-watchers need. To listen to Myleene Klass in OK!, dieting girls like statistics just as much as car-crazed ‘I definitely believe in boys. ‘Now I weigh between eight and a hall and nine stone. and my boobs plastic surgery. I don’t want are 300.‘ she reveals merrily. ‘And I'm 5ft 6m] to be an old hag. There’s no I Even men's mags are doing it. Arena analyses the world’s ‘hardest fun in that, man’ (7,860 push-ups in a sitting), gives a rough guide to working off 9 « 1' J r’ :' ' " "'1
food (one Hob Nob: five minutes; a pint of lager: 15 minutes) and asks the big questions (‘how do I get rid of my man-tits?’).
The commentators were equally viewer should be free to have their
divided over the show, which sees own opinion of it,’ argued the JESUS CHRIST! Springer chair a show before Daily Record. Even The Daily Jerry Springer ruffles some feathers being condemned to hell to judge Telegraph’s letters page contained I Jerry Springer: The Opera’s TV Christ and Satan. ‘If the license a modicum of veiled support. ‘The premiere caused an almighty fuss, fee is to survive for another ten BBC continues week after week to although no one seemed too sure years - which is still doubtful,’ peddle divisive, subversive and of the details. According to the spluttered The Times, ‘there needs highly dangerous superstition,‘ Daily Record, there were over to be a legal obligation for the thundered Hugh Sorrill from 30,000 complaints; The Scotsman BBC to respect all national Norwich. ‘I am determined to counted 47,000, and The Daily religions.’ withhold my licence fee until the Telegraph over 50,000. Some The show found supporters in corporation cancels Songs of heard 8,000 curses, others 300. unexpected quarters. ‘Every Praise.’
8 THE LIST QC Jan—3 Fet‘