Aenda

RA How the papers filled their pages this fortnight

OH BROTHER

In the trenches of the reality TV wars I In a bid to steal viewers from

ITV1 '5 Celebrity Love /s/and. Big Brother 6 is also relying on that old adage: ‘sex sells'. As The Guardian reports. heat-seeking cameras have been installed in the house in addition to a shortage of beds in the hope of catching some nocturnal liaisons. It's a choice between non- celebrities rutting on both channels then. Quicker than you can say ‘Davina McCall is becoming a parody of herself' The Sun and The News of the Wor/d are offering cash rewards for spilling the beans on the new housemates. Well, you'd have to be paid to admit it. With coverage such as The Sun's ‘Breast Bits” and The Daily Mirror‘s ‘Night Shift' offering a blow-by-blow account of goings on in the house outside of viewing hours. there is scope for anyone to live out their own Orwellian fantasy with this latest collection of token misfits. Yet BB‘s usual media domination seems to be missing this time round. The Scotsman tries to retain its respectability by only devoting column inches to contestant Derek Laud. former Tory speechwriter. Endemol executives may need to address this problem: perhaps the housemates should all wear hoodies.

Inclement weather images increase broadcaster’s woes

I ‘A humiliating climbdown for the BBC,’ smirked The Guardian, as the corporation responded to a squally storm of protest by changing the tilt of its new high- tech weather maps. Chief among those aiming hailstones at the forecasts was Angus MacNeiI, the SNP MP who tabled a motion in the Commons in protest. Later, his

8 THE LIST 9 {21% Jun 2005

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Who else could be cynical about a freebie to Venice?

I With the Venice Biennale about to promise canapes on the canal. some of the art mags have started asking a few questions about the grand jolly not all are quaffing their champers with unfettered relish. Art Month/y takes a political reading of the whole affair. Its weary introduction develops into an argument that the international art scene. like so many other markets, is a globalised one led by the West and says: ‘In Venice, diversity comes across as dispersal, as a flattening out.’

I Neil Mulholland in Map magazine picks up some of the themes here, but focuses on the politics of art and national identity. ‘Is it acceptable for the state to unilaterally dictate an image of its culture?’ he asks, comparing the People’s Republic of China’s first appearance at the shindig to Scotland’s second official showing. Politics are on the agenda in Tate Etc, too. Germaine Greer writes about the forthcoming Frida Kahlo show at Tate Modern, featuring a spread of six stern uni-brow images under the headline ‘Patron Saint of Lipstick and Lavender Feminism’. She writes: ‘By using unsubtle shifts, while making herself recognisable with the trademark eyebrows and moustache, Kahlo also makes herself monumental.’ I In Frieze, meanwhile. a little feature on knees from the 19605 caught Radar’s eye. Eight knees exposed by the mini skirt sit patiently while the camera snaps a modest shot; the hands folded demurely on the lap.

Smile for the camera, now.

quip that ‘the BBC has changed its mind almost as quickly as the weather changes in the Western Isles’ was widely reported, as he celebrated the hasty tweaks that made Scotland appear larger once again. The Scotsman reported that the issue even reached the Lords, where Lib Dem peer Lord Greaves observed what Scottish listeners to Radio 4 weather forecasts already knew: that ‘the BBC weather centre appears to regard Scotland as a faraway country

about which we know little’.

It might not have been so bad had this not been the Beeb’s second weather-related U-turn in as many months. For just ten days, producers of BBC2’s Newsnight replaced the nightly shares round up with a weather report, and, according to USA Today, ‘viewers were appalled. The show‘s gruff presenter, Jeremy Paxman, also seemed unimpressed, delivering terse forecasts such as: “It’s April. What do you expect?”

‘If anyone doesn’t want to come to the party, they can fuck off.’

80!) Colt/of offers the hand of friends/vii) to the GB heads.

‘Kurt Russell was sent to us by God, he drew a circle around us, and its powerful alchemy has protected us ever since.’

Go’dio Hap'xn "takes (in push for the loony but

‘I fucking loathe the Beach Boys. The only reason they’re as big as they are is because they’re racked next to the Beatles in HMV.’ Unioss the Boast/e Boys go? if) the writ: Noel Grainy/tor:

‘I don’t care if I die in every movie. I look for something that makes me feel alive as a woman, as an actress.’ Pond/ope Cruz revert/s the ’lO- "0080780 .’7(i.’t/"(} that snared Tom

CW 80.

‘The secret of being a good lover? Technique. Pleasure- giving. Knowing what your partner desires and doesn’t expect. Surprise her. If all else fails, throw a drink in her face and go for it.’

Ody/(r) (7 f) 540..) 'o .x'az.) (41. K).

‘I don’t know why everyone is furious about him having a penis. It is not like I made it erect or big. Why can’t mothers say “it’s a penis” when their children ask. All the fuss is silly.’

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