Doctors’notes
I Sexual Health Week runs until 7 August but is the safer sex message getting through? According to government statistics, half of all emergency contraception requests in the UK are accompanied by the phrase ‘the condom split’. This doesn’t really tally with a recent Times investigation. They bought 82 types of condom, from every source - corner chemist to obscure brands from backstreet sex shops - and tested them to bursting. Every single one handled the standard industry requirement of 18 litres of air; all went on to hold 28 litres and three went beyond 45 litres. Results would indicate that the innocent little fellows are blamed by some people just looking for an excuse they’re not going to get a row for. Advice about all forms of contraception can be found at www.fpa.org.uk
I Smiling's great. isn‘t it? That is. as long as you have a nice set of pearly whites to flash. Only 49% of Scottish adults are registered with a dentist. and the longer you leave it. any fears about what nasty treatment you might receive can only get closer to reality. Find out where your nearest friendly tooth fairy is by going to wwwshowscot.nhsuk/tindneares t/ healthservices by entering your postcode and selecting ‘dentist'.
I Apparently, sunglasses are for more than to make you look cool. Who’d have thought, eh? Anyway, when buying them look for the CE/British Standards mark to show they meet European safety standards and a label that says they block out 99-100% of UV-A and UV-B rays. Wearing sunnies that don’t can be more harmful to your eyes than wearing none at all. Dark coloured sunglasses don’t necessarily protect better, it’s a special coating on the lens that makes them safe, not their darkness.
102 THE LIST Pl Jill A Ailtl 700:3
HEALTH
‘I AM GOING TO TURN INTO AN APPLE OR A
Would
o mea
PIECE OF CHEESE'
People give up meat for a variety or reasons, but not usually for a dare. Unlike Keith Benzie, The List’s most dedicated carnivore. How did he cope?
ou might not think the days
is a long time to go
vegetarian. but imagine your diet was so meat-orientated that you could conceivably get extremely angry at a conference because all the sandwiches were veggie. linter Mr Benzie.
Monday
The start of my excruciating task. Must find something to go with my decaf coffee. No bacon rolls. so I have extra fruit instead. (iood for me. but by l lam I am starving. For lunch I have a baguette with
cheese and coleslaw. a bag of
crisps and fruit. For dinner. my long-suffering girlfriend Louise (who was pretty tnttch a \‘eggte
until we started going out four
years ago) makes pasta with garlic. peppers and courgettes. I’m hungry later so I have cereal to heat off the hunger pangs.
TUesday
l‘or breakfast I have my usual ().I. decaf coffee and an apple muffin. which keeps me going through to lunch. when I have last night‘s dinner and more fruit. Definitely don‘t feel as tired as I usually do after lunch.
Dinner is another dish loyingly prepared by Louise. a risotto with asparagUs and artichoke hearts as a substitute for the recipes‘
chorizo. This is my first try of
these unusual looking vegetables.
and l tune to giy’e them the thumbs down.
Wednesday
The sternest test so far. list deliy‘ery day and (usually) my fortnightly sliced sausage and egg roll. I do haye my ‘white \an man' reputation to keep tip. after all. I settle for just the egg roll this time round. My deliy'cry colleague Russell orders a sausage and egg roll. then enjoys watching me suffer. This. coming from a man whose obsession with Morrissey led him to giye tip meat for six whole months. I haye fruit and a cheese and pickle roll for lunch and a lab ice lolly (a bit of a blast from the past. that one. but most enjoyable). Vegetarian though‘.’ I get home late after playing football and we haye baked tatties. lucky I ouise gets tuna mayo on hers and l have cheese and tornan chutney. I think my consumption has already tripled this week. I find it hard to think of other alternatiyes. lack of imagination'.’ Probably.
Thursday
Have 0]. decaf coffee and an apple pastry for brekkic. Most enjoyable. Lunch is a chunky (you guessed it) cheese salad roll. l\'ot feeling nearly as lethargic or ftill as I sometimes do. This I like. I rehearse with our band. the Sundowns. after work and don‘t
cheese
get home until late. so liaye plenty fruit to keep me going. then tomato sottp and salad. .\'ot \ery
substantial. bttt adequate nonetheless. Roll on Saturday. Friday
I‘m going to hayc a fttll fry tip to celebrate the end of this interesting little experiment. More apples keep me going until lunch when I have a cheddar. onion and roast red peppers sandwich and another apple. I am going to turn into an apple or a piece of cheese by tomorrow. Mttsht‘oottt burgers for dinner (which lasted pretty much like mushroom pakora) with some grilled aspai'agiis and potatoes. Tasty and yet again not as filling as my usual meat»- assisted dishes is this a good or bad thing'.’ We go to the cinema w lterc I had some l’ick‘n‘.\li\. only realising afterwards that the gelatine itt these sweets is a no no. How is one expected to liye without llaribo'.’
Conclusion
The week wasn't as difficult as I might hayc thought. It was also good to If} new things feel less lethargic after meals. I know the experiment really w asn't long enough to feel any real ltealth benefits. bttt it tnade me think about what I eat more than I do .it the moment and my body will thank me for that.
'- THE LIST 55