tfieLEECH
Sucking the blood of popular entertainment
MAN BAGS
A man bag is not a fannypack. a clutch bag. a holdall or a briefcase. yet manages to include all the best attributes of these manly sacks without falling into the fashion no-no that is the record bag. Ladies have dominated the bag market for long enough but men need to carry things too (including man make-up and flat . shoes). Some say the man bag is a A signifier of passe metrosexuality. but 7 ' Chewbacca had one and he‘s hard.
THERMOS MUGS
They look shit and make your coffee taste like piss. Plastic-flavoured latte. anyone? After said coffee is finished you can't even pop it into your bag (see man bags. above). It will leak all over everything. destroying diaries and laptops in one sour wave of milk and bitter coffee grounds. Frankly. no one is that busy. Do you really just
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l'.'l l l l'-' :'.:Y‘.. ' ' :til :5». ,(\li led-M"? (ft-M3516; (ltvlzlttld‘. f22< l T' "k‘- forbid) Starbucks?
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"It t‘:':il\. :tt‘lk: ' é . f r Q ( ‘ temperature of its apple pies but elsewhere you re taking the roof of your mouth in your hands.
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l :ii. mitt»? tint tilit‘trtl up Bad plastic wry
Done well. plastic surgery can slow down the hands of time, while bad surgery just makes you look like you've been slapped around with them. This Russian roulette for facial features where dignity is traded in for the slim chance of fooling nature should not be encouraged.
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' The clocks going back
A wonderfully parochial notion that only the British
would want to hold onto. Such is our level of
insignificance in the global game of Kerplunk that we
still insist in changing time as some kind of pathetic
consolation prize. We're British and that's all there is
to it.
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I Not far off (ile'ttrzlgpes' .'()().'“ mates.
the l eetth imagines. rm: be stays at
Mohaiiiined Al Fayeti's; tjiiil‘il‘tjil Vote. on an Oil Ht: Accord fit It: Oil :0" So let me get this right. Avoiding getting up out of your chair and walking six feet as often as possible is a good thing? Remember before the days of
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4'“ W "‘ “3”” “*“i'f remotes when you had to stay watching one thing {29> "wk; 0:; it»... safe" tuck
and perhaps concentrate on it? No. didn't think so. your short-term memory is shot to hell.
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Space travel
I Mm: the l vac" Vii-left; filo notatrxei. .'.".:;-t’ie' ::.;‘:"s new: "3.11 so how about the most costly. eco'ogicany wasteful "{‘k‘ll‘1‘t‘..'§§- try-ic- "mmu to fole rig out st'aigl‘t from C"r :it;:::"e' way to Shoot dogs. monkeys and scientists into the :‘ti‘f to "at: some, hassle scrape .1 none? One PW.) DJ» r‘ $7.1.) c" ."v; big nothing for 45 minutes? Forty years of a one-
i. l".it':: tl‘t“ gent; mate '0' catclmg; gl'it. l.". 3m?" 2: nut" 1.1.1.3 g: Nd'f" Sega sided space race and what haVe We found? Dirt teen.in sensation N:.\>i.1t3metlett at (:i. rig. (omens t .rttt: a tour 52’. floats in zefO gravity and there's DFODab'Y “Ct "f9 0” Ger‘mn ml. :JtiCt‘ .:: . tll“’II(};l|\ .ess attractlov and sees t 1:. Mars. Thanks fOl' that.
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12 THE LIST '2‘ .4. ‘.' :' ECU?