ADVENTURE GOLF
When Jay Richardson told us he wanted to review the new Adventure Golf facility at Xscape Braehead, we thought it sounded like a fine idea. What he didn’t mention however, is that he is absolutely terrible at golf, crazy or otherwise, and that he’d be taking his trusty binoculars and a stuffed snake along with him.
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gcndcr dixcriinination. )t't .id\cnttii‘c
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So I l'igurcd in} inight} Usiron habit ol dccapitating flora and launa inight xcrxc inc \\cI| at I’ai'adixc IxIand. \xhich opcncd rcccnil_\ in thc \Scapc conipIc\ at Hi‘achcail. \‘x'hat
\xith thc indoor xki xlopc and thc
\crtical clinibing will at thc cntrancc. childrcn xcurr_\ing acroxx thc cciling Iikc xqiiirrclx in hclinctx and haincxx. it'x not thc iiioxt adrcnaIinc—pumping purxuit in thc
building. But it ix good Inn and inorc xo
\xilh binocularx. Bo} Scout xhorix and
a xtul'lcd xnakc xctlucxlci'cd about _\our pcrxon. Spanning an arm ol JUNK) lccl and
l coxtiiig inorc than [1.5 million to
build. ihc ixland ix ilL‘IlItlII} inorc ol’ a
,, \xarchouxc and I can‘t hpr thinking a
3” grcatcr proportion ol lhc inonc} inight
,7 ha\c bccn xpcnt on trccx and \incx to I!" dixguixc thc inctal xtructurc. at Icaxi f tittcnipting to onlci‘ lhc illuxion ol' a f tropical (ilaxgon cIiinatc. \Voi‘xc.
thci'c'x a hcai'tbrcaking Iack ol inonkc}x too. cithci‘ ax xpcciaII} ti'aincd xtali or Ill\l gciicrall} hanging around and xcraiching thcir hilarioux inuIiicoIoiircd arxcx. aI\\a_\x thc inoxt important l'calui‘c in a \cntiirc Iikc lIlix. ()L‘L‘;l\ittll;lI. pl‘c-I'L'cul'dcd
.xcrccchcx o\ci' IIic tanno} arc inci'cl} inxulting. phoncd in [M‘i‘l'orinanccx l'roin conxpicuouxl} abxcnt. piano» xhil‘ting and IikcI} tca qurpiiig xiniianx. .\Iind _\ou. thcrc (ll't' xoinc aiiraclnc l'lainingox. palin ti‘cc hqu with all lhc iungIc trappingx du iour and Izaxlci‘ IxIand xtatiicx \\ ho rcniain xton_\-l'accd ax _\ou putt )our \\a_\ cinIMirraxxingI} around and around lhcin. right tip until lhc - janitor thIx }tltl it‘x coning tiinc and can hc pIcaxc turn thc ‘ " IgIlIx UIIlltiu'.) I’ai'adixc IxIand hax t\\o L‘Ulll'\L‘x oI~ Ib’ IltiICx. .Ii/It’ Viki HIII Trail and .IIUL’QIU .II('(‘UH"\
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10 THE LIST 10—1,“ Aug 2006
I IMAGINE MY GOLF SWING IS THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN MY FATHER'S LIFE
(Vial/mgr. btil lriixtratingl). tIic_\'rc a Iittlc too xiiniIai'. \Vhal'x niorc. \\ ith c\ci‘_\ hoIc a par tuo or thrcc. it‘x a bit cax_\. c\cn IUI' xoinconc \klIIl thc unlortunalc habit ol xccking out a bit ol' rough Iikc inc. (irantcd. I \xax niaxxixcl} incl par \xhcn thc xcorcx \xcrc tottcd tip. but that'x obxiouxI} attribuiabIc to thc lrtixtration ol bcing otilp|a_\cd b_\ toddlcrx. Not to incntion thc kind ol' ina\crick gainc unxccn xincc Smcriano Ballcxtcrox' poinp. iiI\\;:_\\ xccking that glor} or huiniliaiion xhot and achic\ ing lhc Iattcr \klIIl iinprcxxiw conxixtcnc}. I-ortunc laxourx thc bra\c and I’aradixc leand ollcrx a choicc ol xal'c and l'l\I\} appl'iiachcx on nioxt Iioch. )L‘l il aIxo alloi‘dx an cdgc to lhoxc \\ ith a xtcad} ncrxc. I’iitling ix iinincaxurabl) trickicr il )ou‘rc lacing a grucxoinc tribal caning or in} pIa_\ ing partncr Robbic. thc iuo bcing inorc or chx indixtinguixhablc. 'I‘hat‘x right inatc. bcat inc and gct gratuitouxl} xlandcrcd in print. .\d\cnturc goll’ ix a ci'iicl. l'i'uxti'ating purxtiit and ccrtainl} no xptil'I l'or Iadicx or gcntlcincn. :\‘__‘j_'l‘c\xi\c xchging and rutIichx gaincxinanxhip arc thci'cl‘oi'c oxxcntial l'oi' xta\ ing ot‘l~ thc bittcr xting ol' dclcai.
So. I’aradixc leand ix bel xuitcd to lainilicx. cox} tourxonicx or the moxt rcnicdial chcl