PREVIEW
JANUARY FEBRUARY I CELTIC I ROCKY BALBOA I DANIEL KITSON: I ALL MY SONS I THE KILLERS I AYE WRITE! BANK CONNECTIONS Sixth and final film in 090 The play that gave Much maligned stadium OF SCOTLAND
Arthur Miller his first hit. All My Sons tells the story of a father and his son who went to war and didn't come back. Lyceum
BOOK FESTIVAL More than 100 authors are lined up to speak. including John BanVille and George Monbiot.
indie band returns to Scotland. with lead singer Brandon Flowers domg a Springsteen. The result is a sell-out show. SECC. 22 Feb
Kitson's Fringe-beating play takes a funny. nostalgic look back at One man's life through compilation tapes. Arches, 23—28 Jan
ldlewiild. Aberfeldy. Isobel Campbell and Clannad are among a line-up that's as wide- ranging as this festival has seen in years.
the Rocky series. in which Sly Stallone plays Out his final tribute to the international bOXing legend. 79 Jan
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nce upon a Tomorrow’s World. the
gadget ruled the earth. it not the as yet
undiscovered Bacol'oil universe heyond. Here was a planet mapped otlt hy litch—.-\-Sketch and seen through X-Ray specs as a slide projected kaleidoscope. It was a green and Pleasant Valley Sunday land. where sea monkey s swam tree in hlue waters waded through hy l'ormer ‘)()lh weaklings turned (‘harles :\tlas stud- u-like musclemen in six short weeks.
That was then. however. and this is some approximation of sometime soon. a world rewired by information overload. w here everything’s a contact-tree click away. 2007. however. promises to get hack to hasics in a year /ero return to halcyon days ol hands-tree home entertainment which doesn't involve lly-hy-night hi-teeh jiggery-pokery. It the past. as some quill- hearing scrihe once put it. is merely the rememhered present. then l‘tilly-l'unctional retro- kitsch apparel mast surer he the best l‘uture yet.
So l‘orget hedriiom--hound networking through .\1ySpace and googling through You'l‘uhe. Well he sending letters to Pen Pals in lar away places who'll then send hack .lilly Bag loads oi e.\otic- looking stamps which take weeks to arrive. iPods too will he past their sell—hy date relics. while Walkmans will return. hoth in (‘1) and cassette tape l‘oi'm. 'l'ape compilations will make a comehack. w hen l)lY ohsessed acolytes discover how much more touchy-leer romantic they are than horing old instantly accessihle .\lP3.s.
\"inyl too will he all the rage again. The hest. most escitingly ohscure records will he kept in the very hack ol' the hidden depths ol your local indie record emporium like some limited edition
to, $1-
ts 5. .
lloly (irail. .\laga/ines will he sold on the hasis ol‘ smell alone. such will he the allure of printers ink and photocopy lltlid.
Multiple email Spam conspiracies will he consigned to the dusthin oi history. as a home— made greeting card cra/e sweeps the nation. Bloggers will have had their day. particularly those ol' the drearin sell—ohsessed Variety. \Ve'll consistently not win on the Premium Bonds we were misguidedly gifted with at hirtli. while all National Lottery ticket losers will he lorced to queue at separate tills. only holding each other tip instead of everyhody else.
When we're not gathering round the old .loanna
IPODS WILL BE PAST THEIR SELL-BY DATE RELICS WHILE CASSETTE WALKMANS WILL RETURN
instead ol the latest X—Box. or going to The Pictures complete with the original Pearl & l)ean Presents logo trailing ads for local chicken- in—a—hasket dives. we’ll spend all day setting up the hoard l‘or Mousetrap. then he too tired to play it.
In (‘luedo. w e'll siispect Professor Plum. with the candlestick. in the dining room. and have the secret hots tor Miss Scarlet. “ell get triple word scores in Serahhle. put .r\irli.\ hack in husiness and he smart enough to realise that Mastermind isn‘t nearly as clever as it thinks it is. \Ve’ll huild cities otlt ol Lego and Meccano. and singe otlt'
Glasgow. 76—25 Feb > > I l
hair with chemistry sets during power cuts in the midst of an ongoing array of three—day weeks. \Ve'll smoke sweet cigarettes and chocolate cigars. collect Ba/ooka .loe comics and watch Bugs Bunny and Yogi Bear cartoons on Super 8 rather than I)\'l) hox sets that go on forever.
l’ilms will take live years to get on terrestrial TV rather than he sold on hootleg the day alter they‘re released. We’ll get inky lingers oll litr/Imigv um/ .lliirl. not RSI t'rom lihay. We'll send postal orders and cut out and keep special offer tokens. and everything will take 28 days delivery so anticipation and expectation is redisciw'ered.
BBC] will he unashamedly arty. and even the test card will only he on at weekends. (‘hannel 4 will get good again. and show seasons ol’ (iodard and liasshinder lilnis rather than the at‘gtiahly even more ayant-garde reality shows they‘ll replace. ()n Saturdays. everything will stop at l'our o'clock. when Kendo Nagasaki will dish out moves on Big Daddy and (iiant llay stacks that \VWli don't even know" exist. l-‘oothall matches heamed l'roin Poland will he viewed through thick layers ol' snowy static in hlack and white. and the commentators will talk inul‘l'led cliches down a crackly Bakelite phone. Internet porn will he history. as scrunched up pages l‘rom the lingerie pages ol‘ l.ittlewoods catalogue will he hidden in hedges and pasted in puddles.
When the best hand on the planet linally relorms. 2007 will horder the shadow line hetween nostalgia l'or an age never known and resistance to the modern world. l"ot' tltose ol‘ tts already resident in this parallel universe. it will he a heautil‘ul. era/y dream come true.
'-- o i' "THE LIST 17