HOLLYWOOD'S FOUR BIGGEST LIES

Ahead of his one off weekend seminar on low budget filmmaking in Glasgow, Raindance Film Festival founder Elliot Grove (pictured) lifts the lid on the greatest celluloid fibs.

The film industry is pretty simple to break into if you first understand some basic concepts. However, there is some nonsense that surrounds the industry that keeps first—timers away from writing, directing, producing or starring in a movie.

Lie 1: Filmmaking is an Art To make a movie you need to write cheques lots of them. When your movie is finished, you will want to negotiate the best possible deal for the greatest amount of revenue. Therefore, filmmaking is about writing cheques, negotiating and revenue potential. To me. that sounds like a business. And everything in the British film industry is about business. The sooner you realise this. the sooner you are likely to succeed.

Lie 2: The film industry is about filmmaking The film industry spends more money marketing a film than making it. You have probably heard about the way a distributor ‘opens’, ‘releases‘ or 'markets‘ a movie. So, if it costs so much to open release. or market a film. then surely the film industry is more concerned with these processes than with the actual making of a movie. Technically, in the film industry, the marketing budget is called the P&A budget (prints and advertising), and the two elements which the industry markets are: Who is in the film? and What is the budget? That's how Hollywood works. Hollywood takes a film that has no value. puts in the newspaper ads and gives it value. The film industry is a film marketing industry, not a filmmaking industry.

Lie 3: What the budget is Is there any industry that tells you the cost of manufacturing the product you want to buy? Why is it that in the film industry we always seem to know what the budget is? Do you think the film industry really tells you the truth? There are only four budgets in the movie industry the Blockbuster Budget, the Hyphen Budget, the Million Dollar Budget and the Micro Budget. The budget of your feature film is going to be one of those four budgets.

Lie 4: The film industry makes filmmakers deals The problem with all filmmakers is that they are perennially attempting to make a deal to get the money to make a film. This will never happen. You are putting the horse before the cart. First, make a film! And, if that film makes money . . . then you'll make a deal!

I Lo-To-No Budget filmmaking course is at BSA/MD, Glasgow on Sat 3 & Sun 4 Mar only. TeI: 0207 287 3833 or visit www.ra/ndance.co.uk

50 THE LIST 1—15 Mar 2007

Nehle Pe Dehla (tbc) (Ajay ('liandliok. lndia. Zoom Sanjay l)utt. Bipasha Basu. Kim Sharma. Money-hungry. small time crooks Jimmy and Jolmny get more than they bargain for w hen the hotel owner they are blackmailing is murdered by a ruthless mob. Murder. extortion and dastardly deeds Bolly wood-st le. ()(It'nll I'M"! ly'i'miuinl. lat/in/nnje/i.

Night at the Museum (P0) 0.. (Shawn l.eyy. l'S. zoom Ben Stiller. (’arla (ittgitto. Robin Williams. liltSmin. Broad. imaginatiyc and actually quite fun adyenture comedy about a bumbling security guard (Stiller pltis a /any supporting cast) w ho lets loose an ancient curse at a Natural History Museum. which allow s the exhibits to come to life. (filt'll'UI'lt/ I’iii‘k/Ii'tiil. (Eli/semi": [hunt/iron. l'fi/i/i/nnjg/i.

Nishabd t l5) 0... tRam (iopal \arma. India. 2007) Amitabli Baclichan. Jiah Khan. Reyathi. llilmin. See Bollywood Roundup. page 40. Selected I'(’/('(I.\(’.

Norbit ( llAi 0 (Brian Robbins. l'S. 2007) liddie Murphy. 'l‘handie Newton. liddie (ii'ilil-ltl. llllitiilt. See .-\ls() Released. page 42. (it’lit'm/ release. Notes on a Scandal ( 15; 0.. (Richard l'._\ rc. l'K. lellhl Jtldi l)encli. ('ate Blanchett. Bill Nighy. Zillloinin. Lonely teacher Barbara ('oy'ctt (a spellbinding l)cnclii becomes enraptured with new art teacher Sheba (Blanchetti until she learns a secret about the latter and their relationship shifts into something much more sinister. l.css com incing in its melodramatic final stretches. but a good illustration of timeless class anxieties. (;('ll(’l'(l/ I'('/('(I.\('.

The Number 23 ( l5) .0. t.loel Scliumacher. l'S. 2007) Jim ('arrey. Virginia Madsen. Logan l.erman. 97min. After reading a book entitled The Number 3.? Walter Sparrow ((Zirrey ) becomes obsessed with the mathematical conspiracy theory it details. Initially intriguing. it suffers from a detrimental mi\ of humour and horror. (‘arrey is otherwise good. bill it doesn’t quite add up. (iv/it'ru/ re/cmc.

>l< One-Armed Swordsman ( ISi O... ((‘liang ('lich. llong Kong. [067) Wang Yu. ('hiao ('hiao. lluang (’ltung— Slmn. l l lmin. After being emasculated by a woman cutting his sword arm off. l‘ang (iang (Yul tries to leaye the world of martial arts. llow ey er. he has a debt of honour to repay and mast light on single handedly. l’art of(‘inema (‘hina festiyal. l'i/m/muw. lz‘i/i'Ii/m/je/I.

Open Season (Hit 00 (Roger Allers. .lill ('ulton. Anthony Stacclii. l'S. Zoom Voices of .Martin l.aw rence. Ashton Kutchcr. Debra Messing. Shmin. ‘)l)()lb gri/lly bear Boog (\oiced by Lawrence) takes on a nasty group of human predators during the open hunting season with the help of lilliot (Kutchcri. a fast-talking mule deer. l’t'edicltlltlc. ltlziltd. elielie ridden and oycrsweet animation that just about passes muster as a soft-brained family flick. (‘ilii'n'or/(l I’iii‘k/tt'titl. (i/(Isgun 5 (filt'll'U/ft/ l-jilI'II/mre/i. lat/inluu‘e/i.

Orchestra Seats ( BM 00

(Daniele 'l‘hompson. France. 300m (‘ecile De France. Valerie l.emercier. Albert l)ubontel. lllfimin. .A trio of intersectinli storylincs. about characters at crossroads in their li\e.s. entw inc it) become at predictable slice of middlebrow entertainment resembling a (iallic Lori- Arum/ly. (i/iixgun' l-i/m 'I'lit'um'. (i/(iygun': film/muse. lat/iii/mre/i.

OutlawHSi. (.\'ick l.o\c. l'ls. 3007) Sean Bean. l)anny l)y er. I.cnnie James. lilSmin. See rey iew. page 4t). (it'm’l'tl/ I'('/('(I.\('.

Pan’s Labyrinth ( 1m 0000 ((iuillermo l)el loin. Mesico/Spain/l'S. loom lyana Baquero. l)oug Jones. Sergi |.ope/. ll‘lmin. In the closing stages of Spain's ('iyil War young ()felia discoy ers a subterranean world populated by fairytale creatures. As she nay igates tasks in the labyrinth—like world the real dangers lie aboy e ground the dissonance between the two proy ing that the real world is more horrifying than any imagined one. ('(um'o. lat/in/mrg/I.

The Passion of The Christ ( 18) 0.. (Mel (iibson. (S. 3004) James (‘a\ ie/el. Monica Bellticci. Maia .\lorgenstern. l2(imin. (iibson's sado- l‘elisliislle account ()l‘ the lttsl l2 hours of ('hrist's life is undoubtedly a work of crude propaganda which offers tip more gratuitous \ iolence than the ayerage ‘yideo nasty '. yet there is still much of interest here in the baroque. b|o(id-drenched style of a horror moyie. (ii/more/u'llU/J. (i/(Iygmr.

Playtime (l’( i) O... (Jacques ’l‘ati. lirancc. l‘)o7i Jacques 'l‘ati. Barbara l)ennck. Jacqueline l.ecomte. ISZmin. Monsieur llulot. tussling with the modern world as usual. follows a group of .-\merican tourists around a garish and hi- tecli Paris of concrete and glass. l'nderyalued later Tali. with the actor 'l'ati‘s slapstick of old oy'et’slittdtmed by 'lttli the director's masterly control of the

w idescrcen frame. (i/(Iygmi' I'll/m [Ii/Ir'rllrr'. (i/riygmr.

Provoked: A True Story( l5)

.0. (Jag Mundhra. lndia. Zoom Aishwarya Rai. Miranda Richardson. .\'a\een Andrews. l 13min. See Bollywood Round-tip. page 40. .S't'lt'rlr'r/ I'(’/(’(l.\(‘.

The Pursuit of Happyness ( IZA) O. ((iabriele Muccino. l'S. 2000) Will Smith. 'l'handie Newton. Jaden Smith. ll7min. (‘hris (iardner (Smithl's stll'\ iyal skills are put to the test when his girlfriend Linda (Newton) leayes him. With a son to look alter (Smith‘s real life offspring.

Jaden) and an unpaid internship for income.

(iardner's pursuit of the American Dream (dubbed ‘ltappy ness‘i looks doomed. Smith Senior is up to the dramatic challenge btit his yery'e cannot compensate for the glib itionoion) of the sl()l'_\'. .S‘(’/('('I(’r/ release. The Queen ( IBM .000 (Stephen l-i'ears. l'K/la'ance/ltaly. 2000) Helen Mirren. Michael Sheen. James (‘romwell llllmin. A behind the scenes glimpse into the relationship between 1le lili/abeth ll and Prime Minister 'l‘ony Blair during their struggle. alter the death of Diana. to reach a compromise between what was a priyate tragedy and the public‘s demand for an oyert display of mourning. Beautifully written and performed by all. this is the second part of director l‘rears' Blair trilogy. Se/r'clr'i/ I'(‘/('(I.\('.

>l< Raise The Red Lantern (PG) 0... (/hang Yimou. ('hina/Japan.

I‘M] ) (iong l.i. Ma Jingw'a. lle (‘aifei. (’ao ('uifeng. IZSmin. '/.hang. director of ./1( Don and Real Sore/rum. again combines exquisitely beautiful photography with formalised melodrama. but this time creates one of the most moying lilms to appear

any w here on the world circuit in recent years. lissentially the tale of a young girl forced to become a concubine and the

jealousics she encounters in her fortress

home. it also acts as a metaphor for the repression of indiy idtial passions in post- 'l‘iananmen China. Part of (inertia ('hina l‘cstiyal. film/muse. lat/[II/mrg/I.

The Reef (l'i O (Kyungho l.ec. lloward li Baker. l'S. 2()()7) Voices of l‘reddie l’rin/e Jr. Rob Schneider. liyan Rachel Wood 78min. Another rubbish cartoon about a plucky little fish and his adyentures in the deep blue. (iwu’ml It'll'llfil'.

Requiem ( l2.-\i 0000 (Hans- ('hristian Sclnnid. (iermany. 2000) Sandra lluller. Burghart l's'latilfincr. Imogen Kogge. 92min. 'I'lic [ital-civil of Emily Rose story is giy‘en a makeoyer as a cautionary tale. Michaela Klinglcr tlliilleri leayes home for uniyersity. only to encounter epileptic sci/tires and demon \oiecs. An e.\orcism or two later. and things take a tragic or saintly turn in this chilling. touching. brilliantly shot and acted inyestigation into hidden secrets and hysterical meltdown. (1mm). lat/iri/mreli.