of so very long ago. the idea of one ol your friends ovvning up to joining a dating agency have been unimaginable. Most of iis vvould rather have vsalked over hot coals or he on a bed of glass than admit to something vshich carried such social stigma. But in the last levv years. there has
vvould
been a discernable sea change. It seems most of us riovv knovv someone vvho's doing it. done it or thinking about doing it. vvhether it be as a potential cyber suitor. through one of the grovving number of dating companies. holidays for singles. the intriguineg named ‘dating in the dark. or speed dating events.
With an estimated four million singletons currently roaming the l'K. statistics published last year shovv that no less than tvvo thirds of single people looking for love have signed tip to dating agencies. vvith vv ell over half of these being online.
l)ating nevvbie. Rachel Sparks. a 27-year-old designer from (ilasgovv. says the trend has gone ftill circle: ‘I vvas sitting in tlte pub last week and of my four single friends. tvvo have profiles on ldating vvebsitel iiiatch.com and one has already met someone through the same site. The other is going speed dating next month. as part of a vvork night out. The question being asked over one- too-maiiy pints is no longer “vvhy you are single" btit rather "vvhat are you doing about it?”
The dating playground has become a formidable force for those too shy or too busy to focus on their private life. By far the most popular vvay to find potential partners is cyber dating. Once an unlikely bedfellovv for those pursuing true love. technology has come calling and the cyber suitor has ansvvered. If the mounting hype is to be believed. everyone from Mr Right to Miss Right Novv is just a mouse click away.
A recent report from Nielsen. the internet research provider. reveals that one in three internet users have utilised the vveb as a vvay to meet a potential dating partner. And. vvhile meeting through friends and in pubs and clubs still tops the list. the internet currently stands as the third most popular method for getting a date. Mearivvhile. 43% of singles admit to (ioogling someone on the internet before a first date.
Paul McGee. a 32-year-old accountant from Fife. says he was surprised vvhen tvvo male colleagues offered to put him on TV property expert Sarah Beeny"s dating site. mysinglefriendcom. on vvhich singletons call on their friends to help sell their vvares. He says: ‘I vvas initially absolutely mortified bill they sold it to me pretty vvell. liach of them had tried a variety of vvebsites and said it was jtist a great vvay to get to knovv people. One is clearly jtist looking for a cheeky fling: the other is looking for something more serious. Their online profiles allovv them to get that out in the open.‘ .\lc(iee has since found true love. His mate vvho vvas looking for a “cheeky fling” is currently on likeminded girl number nine.
As the popularity of dating vvebsites has risen. so too has the relative level of obscurity of the sites on offer from sugardaddies.com to uniforrndating.com for those looking to be even more specific in their partners of choice.
Alex Burmaster. European internet analyst at Nielsen says a shift in perception and the logistics of dating online vvill only continue to
boost figures. He says: ‘One of the advantages of
the vveb is that it provides access to a large number of different types of people in every
geographical location imaginable. 'l'hat is particularly appealing in our increasingly L'lllllL'l'c'tl livesf
Buriiiaster continues: 'You can access a dating site \c\ C” days a vv eck liltl lilitlillg ll'lL'llLl\ to go out vv itli every night could be difficult and going otit alone isn’t easy. \\ hen you factor in the cost as hell one night out iii the [is could easily cost more than one month's subscription to .i dating site a popular option for finding a date.'
Not that current dating trends look set to smash any .llr'li (in from .l/ri/‘s. lliwlt'll u'l'r' 1mm \i'liiiv theories. .-\ccordiiig to reports. 33‘: of internet risers admit to lying to some degree on their online profiles. .-\s iii life. it pays to read bctvveen the lines. Polls suggest that. regardless of the dating method in question. vvonien are more likely to be looking for friendship or shared interests than men. Men. on the other hand are more likely to be looking lor an intimate or short-term relationship than vvoiiieii. Men are also four times more likely to look for a no strings fling than vsonien.
Rachel l)av ies. a 33-year-old accounts manager from (ilasgovv says: "l'he key vvith all types of modern day dating is to go in vsith an open mind. It‘s about just having fun. My friend and I occasionally sign tip to speed dating events
it‘s easy to see vvhy the vveb is such
jtist for a laugh to see vvhat happens. It certainly
feels more productive than a night iii the pub moaning about being single.’
l)av ies adds: 'lt's about finding vvhat vvorks for you. I knovv a happily married couple vvho met online and I knovv of someone vvho’s been
EVERYONE FROM MR RIGHT TO MISS RIGHT NOW IS JUST A MOUSE CLICK AWAY
coasting on sites for tvvo years vvaiting for Mr Right. I'm on date six or seven now through a dating site and I've learned that it pays to be specific. If it says in the income box. "I'll tell you later" chances are it'll be dinner at McDonalds and then home. Knovv vvhat matters and don‘t vvaste your time vvith people that don‘t tick your boxes.‘
Karen Jamieson. a 28-year-old receptionist and speed dating success story says: ‘ln my case. the first hour of actually meeting vvas excruciating. But it's a bit like fate. If it works. it vvorks. It's about putting yourself out there.‘
If online dating is at the forefront of modern day dating. speed dating and its many offspring are not far behind. lan Shore. one of the organisers for speed dating netvvork l)itch or Date. reports that business is booming and rubbishes the idea that agencies like his are for 'losers in love‘. He say s: ‘The more research vve do. the more vve see that it‘s younger people betvveeii 20 and 35 more than ever novv vvanting to use this service. The stigma's still there to a certain extent but it‘s much smaller as slovvly people are realising that it‘s not just losers vvho attend these things. its people vvanting to really tind someone and sick of doing it on a Friday night six pints dovv n.‘
‘Sure. online is popular but the appeal of
meeting someone face-to-face and reading their body language in a comfortable. fun setting. is never going to dvvindle. If anything it is just going to get bigger and bigger?
HOT DATE
FAST LOVE
Michael Callaghan gears up for a night of speed dating
I never thought I'd go speed dating. I've been single for a while. not always unhappily, and like most other single souls i can give you many reasons why this is the case. Sometimes out of choice, often down to plain bad timing, but perhaps mostly because I’m picky. At least I‘d like to think this is the case. I'm sure there are other less flattering reasons but I‘ll choose not to dwell on them here.
Still, I never thought that the slightly strained. production-line nature of 20, three-minute mini- dates with 20 women would appeal to me. Also rightly or wrongly I felt the whole process carried an air of desperation about it, and I was reluctant to admit that of myself. However, when a friend suggested I check out a speed dating event I overlooked my fears and convinced myself I might enjoy it.
So, with a spirit of adventure I paid £19.95 and registered for the evening's frivolities at The Grape in Edinburgh, along with around 40 other predominantly professional-looking 20 and SOsomethings. Looking around I saw that the mostly solitary men, much like myself, seemed to variously exude an air of both terror and intrigue, and were entirely outnumbered by the tightly knit groups of women determined to have fun. Slowly, however, I began to worry that I might not belong here. A friend who'd had a bad speed dating experience had complained that he hadn't had much in common with the women there. I began to worry that I'd be stuck for conversation.
Armed with my name badge, pen and scorecard (yes, just like golf), I took my seat, and began the uncomfortable and unnatural process of interviewing potential candidates. Here’s what I learned: three minutes can be a tortuously long time when you've nothing in common, and little to say to the otherwise perfectly nice young woman sitting opposite you. I'll admit I spent much of the time squirming, wringing my hands in desperation under the table, and by the time I left my scorecard remained blank from both disillusionment and a lack of any hint of mutual chemistry.
Sadly my conclusion at the end of the night was that speed dating really isn't for me. But, if it sounds like fun to you, then chances are you'll enjoy yourself, and perhaps meet someone special. However, if it sounds like the most potent form of torture around then I would counsel you to trust your instinct and stay away. You can get a month’s worth of online dating for the same price.
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