MARTIN KIHN’S TEN STEPS TO BECOMING AN
V Fake it ‘til you make it
Act confident, pushy and assertive, even if you‘re not. Kihn hired an acting coach to help him lose his default ‘nice guy‘ mannerisms. He
learned to replace his smile with a thrust-out chin, a glare or a yawn.
V Find asshole role models
Pay close attention to assholes at work, on TV or in the street and copy their behaviour. Kihn studied Tony ‘Scarface‘ Montana‘s body language and also drew inspiration from Donald Trump, a man in his building with a tattoo on his face and ‘people who attend NRA conventions‘.
V Hire a life coach Fill your head with aggressive,
asshole thoughts through ‘negative meditation‘. Use visualisation techniques to imagine the new callous, powerful, asshole you.
V Become the alpha dog Learn dominant, intimidating
behaviour by observing dogs and
episodes of TV’s The Dog Whisperer.
V Be a fighter, not a lover Use pain, caffeine, energy drinks and a red meat only diet to hone your
body into ‘a walking sphincter'. Take boxing lessons.
V Show no interest in others Be the centre of your own universe. Interrupt others when they
speak. Always speak loudly - if it’s a phone call, put them on speakerphone.
V Criticise in public, praise in private
Undermine others, particularly if it takes the heat off you. Use subtle mind games to manipulate others and keep them on- side. Total confusion will make victimisation easier.
V Keep your eyes on the prize Remain focused to the point
where nothing else matters. Don’t waste time with people if they can’t help you on your way.
V Never, ever admit a mistake Lie if necessary, but always maintain an air of infallibility.
V Leap before you look
Instead of whining and being introspective, take action. You can’t think your way into the right action; you
have to act your way into the right thinking.
'.' :' ‘ , z'. E: THE LIST 27