RON BII'I'lIII

The highly acclaimed author and Edinburgh makar is an incurable romantic who brings his wife tulips and cooks chicken Kiev for St Valentine's Day. It's a far cry from his teenage attempts to attract girls by chucking crisp packets at them

First record you ever bought 'Nutrocker' by B Bumble and the Stingers. A pioneering example of

fusion ~ rock'n'roll meets Tchaikovsky.

Still a landmark of tasteful desecration.

Last time you were chatted up Last Saturday night! It was after I'd been auctioned for $7500 at the Hatwalk charity event. Two very lovely and delightfully cleavaged young lawyers told me they wished they'd clubbed together to buy me! Really. it's Il‘tlf}!

First film you saw that really moved you

A cartoon of Hans Christian Andersen's The Snow Queen.

First movie you ever went on a date to

As a Dumfries teenager I used to go into the Regal cinema with my friends to pick up girls in the half-dark. We thought the best way to gain their interest was to throw scrunched-up crisp packets at them. Innocence. of a kind.

First thing you do when you’ve got time off work A complete day in bed.

Last great meal you cooked For St Valentine's Day I cooked Regi. my wife. a Tesco's chicken Kiev. It took me a long time. I admitted defeat as we stood side by side at the sink scraping off the burnt bits.

Last extravagant purchase you made

Daniel Barenboim playing Beethoven's Complete Piano Sonatas. Yes. the earth moved for me.

Last book you read Some Chekov short stories which I'd read before and Will read again.

First thing you’d do if you ran the country

Fire all the power-mad politicians. which means most of them. Declare peace wherever possible. get rid of Trident. put teachers in charge of education and doctors and nurses in charge of the Health SCDJICO. Have free public transport for all. Institute a green agenda. make poverty history and then resign before I myself became power-mad.

Last meal on earth - what would it be

Lamb chops from Bismallah. the halal butcher in Edinburgh's Nicolson Square. With a good. Chilean red

Last time you exploited your position to get something Using my Society of Authors card to get a discount in Blackwells.

Last time someone criticised your work

The Times recently reVIewed the Citi/ens' Theatre play of my novel The Sound of My Voice. Not ()th did the T(3‘.«’l()‘.‘.’()l’ completely fail to engage with the play. but he also got the name of one of the actors wrong and there were only two.

Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it Tinned octopus say no more.

First concert you ever attended Dvorak's Dumky Trio - over .10 years ago. and it's still one of my favourite pieces of music.

Last time you bought someone flowers

Next issue out

delights, we preview the best of

with The Ting Tings.

As some of the biggest names in music prepare to descend on the fields of Balado for three days of non-stop aural

Scotland's biggest music fest, kicking off

YOU'VE GOT 15 DAYS TO LIVE

The Edinburgh author returns with thriller Crime. Ray Lennox is on holiday in Miami with his fiance and they're planning their wedding but Lennox gets into a fight and goes on the run with 10- year-old Tianna. We give our verdict.

I! 'in V‘i j i‘T" Tl"

104 THE LIST "a

For Regi. They looked like tulips. Purpley red anyway ~ her fa\.'<>i;i'ite colour.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning

I'm Just finishing a new novel at the moment iHappi Hour, and can't wan to start working and see ‘.'.’ll{tt the characters have been up to during the night.

Last thing you think of before you go to sleep Was that our dog. Amber. creeping into our bedroom?

I Ron Bar/in appears at the ‘.'.”.".'.‘ers' i'vi’useum. Lao}. Star/"s Close. [.aiz'iiniarket. Edinburgh. '.'/eu' 253 Jul‘. .7()./1:3ar77.