JustDoIt ClassesWorkshopsTuition

School in Glasgow’s Merchant City, from £99.50 for that you’ll get much-needed advice and a decent meal, which it sounds like you could do with. Cookingmania do a men-only class for absolute beginners on a Monday night, too. www.cookingmania.co.uk www.thecookeryschool.org Dear List’ll Fixit I’ve just got too much energy! I can’t stop moving, and I think my presence in the office is beginning to irritate my colleagues! I need some way of burning it all off, but I’ve got a very busy life and I’m not very good at committing to long-term plans! Lots of love, Fiona Fidgett, Marchmont! PS: Reducing my caffeine intake is really not an option!

Easy there, Fi. Have you thought about shaking it out in an occasional dance class? Dance Base in Edinburgh Grassmarket runs one-off drop in classes starting from Mon 14 Sep from 8am-8pm for free spirits: as long as you’ve booked online or bought a ticket half an hour in advance, you can try out everything from ballet in your lunch hour to breakdance after work. Your first trial session is free, too. And maybe have a wee think about the caffeine thing? Just, you know, saying. www.dancebase.co.uk

Dear List’ll Fixit, That’s it! I’ve had enough of the soulless corporate world. I need to be recognised as the cinematic visionary I am! If only I could get someone to read my screenplay... Kisses! Tortured Auteur, Finneston Oh, we feel your pain, babycakes. That nasty Harvey Weinstein doesn’t return our calls either. Rather than spending your days endlessly, mournfully refreshing your email inbox, why not endeavour to really hone your skills? Not that we’re saying you’re not a genius already, but Napier University’s MA in Screenwriting can be done full or part-time, is highly regarded by Screen Academy Scotland, and will equip you not only with insider knowledge of how the industry works, but help you create a full portfolio of scripts. Registration is open just now for term starting in January. www.napier.ac.uk

Change your life! Want to lose weight, learn new skills or completely change your life around? Just you ask The List’s own agony auntie, poppet.

Dear List’ll Fixit, I’m getting married in nine weeks’ time, and last year, in a burst of optimistic depravity, I blew almost all of our savings on the most fabulous Vera Wang frock. Trouble is, I’m still two sizes too big for it. I’ve got to get fit, but I can’t afford to join a gym, much less get myself a personal trainer. What can I do? Yours, Bridezilla (literally), Partick.

Aw, Zilla. We think you look lovely anyway, and if your husband-to- be doesn’t love you as you are then he’s just not worth it. On the other hand, have you still got enough money to pick up a pair of running shoes? That’s all you’ll need to take up the Couch to 5K Running Plan, which has been put together by the lovely experts at Cool Running. It’s a free, downloadable, step-by-step fitness plan designed precisely to turn couch potatoes into runners in easy stages, it’s picking up online devotees by the thousands, 18 THE LIST 10–24 Sep 2009

and, by a huge coincidence, it takes exactly nine weeks. www.c25k.com, www.coolrunning.com Dear List’ll Fixit, Two months ago I was just hopping back from the Maldives when I got a message on my Blackberry saying that the bank I worked for had gone bust! Filthy luck. I am now unemployed and absolutely destitute. It looks like I need a complete career change. Bea Anker, New Town (not for long).

Not that we’re, er, judging, but have you thought about redressing your karmic balance a little by training to provide a practical service to the community? Yes, plumbing. If you’ve got the determination to make a change, the Scottish and Northern Ireland Plumbing Employers Federation (SNIPEF) will apply for funding on your behalf once a registered plumber has agreed to take you on as an

apprentice. SNIPEF will see you through three years of college for your Modern Apprenticeship (MA) and then a final year of training. The salary might not be quite what you’re used to, but plumbing is one of the most secure jobs in a thoroughly insecure age. www.snipef.org Dear List’ll Fixit, Help! My mum has finally chucked me out of the house (some spurious excuse about 35 being ‘too old to be tied to the apron strings’). I’ve been trying to feed myself as best I can, but three weeks of Pot Noodles have left me rather, er, bunged up. You’re my last hope. Perpetual Adolescent, Linlithgow

OK. Stop picking dried-on cornflakes off your Watchmen T-shirt and listen to us! Basic one-off cooking courses at Cookingmania in Edinburgh start from £40 a session or take on a four-week class at the Cookery