Theatre

RAMSHORN THEATRE 98 Ingram Street, 548 2558. I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change Wed 30 Sep–Fri 2 Oct. 7.30pm. £9 (£7). Glasgow Music Theatre presents a sharp and witty comedy musical about the ums and ahhs of relationships. Tickets 07989 712420. Third Breast Sat 3 Oct. 7.30pm. £9 (£6). Polish drama about power struggle by Asylon Theatre. ROYAL CONCERT HALL 2 Sauchiehall Street, 353 8000. Only an Excuse? Fri 25 Sep. 7.30pm. £20. Chuckle your way into the new football season with the Only An Excuse? boys, who will be taking a free kick at the colourful characters of the beautiful game in Scotland. Scottish Royal Variety Performance Thu 8 Oct. 7pm. £65–£75. The first ever Scottish Royal Variety Performance offers celebrities and artists from the worlds of music, dance, comedy and theatre and is hosted by TV presenter Jenni Falconer and Scottish comedian Tam Cowan.

THEATRE ROYAL 282 Hope Street, 0870 060 6647. Scottish Opera: The Elixir of Love Sat 26 Sep. 2.15pm. £10–£49 (£7–£43). See Classical.

✽✽ Matthew Bourne’s Dorian Gray Tue 29 Sep–Sat 3 Oct.

7.30pm (Thu & Sat mat 2.30pm). £14–£33. Big-budget dance reinvention of Oscar Wilde’s novel with Bourne’s trademark gender trickery, in which the eternally beautiful boy is now a male model. Part of Glasgay! Scottish Ballet 40th Anniversary Tour Thu 8–Sat 10 Oct. 7.30pm. £12–£20. Scotland’s world-class national ballet company celebrates its 40th anniversary this year with a triple-bill of contemporary works of choreography, set to the music of composers from Luciano Berio to Johann Sebastian Bach. TRAMWAY 25 Albert Drive, 0845 330 3501. An Argument About Sex Thu 1–Sat 17 Oct (not Sun/Mon). 7.30pm. £14 (£8; £10 (£5) on Thu 1 & Fri 2). A response to Pierre de Marivaux’s comedy, La Dispute, writer Pamela Carter and director Stewart Laing’s new work examines gendered attitudes towards risk-taking and settling arguments.

TRON THEATRE 63 Trongate, 552 4267.

✽✽ White Tea ●●●●● Until Sat 26 Sep. 7.45pm. £8 (£6). Fresh from its

premiere at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe comes a multi-layered and sumptuous piece of visual theatre. Co- presented by Fire Exit and The Tron Theatre Company. Part of the Merchant City Festival.

Motherland Until Sat 26 Sep. 7.30pm. £10.50–£14.50 (£6.50–£10.50). A powerful dramatisation based on interviews conducted with the wives and mothers of servicemen. Presented by Live Theatre & The Empty Space. Part of the Merchant City Festival. Supper Club Cabaret Fri 2 Oct. 8pm. £tbc. Cabaret evening from Upstage with food included in admission. Bette/Cavett Tue 6–Sat 10 Oct. 7.45pm. £8.50 (£6.50). Grant Smeaton re-imagines the classic televisual meeting of Bette Davis and Dick Cavett. Part of Glasgay!

✽✽ That Face Tue 6–Sat 24 Oct. 7.30pm. £10.50–£14.50

(£6.50–£10.50; £7.50 for previews on 6 & 7 Oct). Polly Stenham’s award- winning debut about a family falling apart is presented by the Tron Theatre Company.

Edinburgh BEDLAM THEATRE 11b Bristo Place, 225 9893. Spam Valley Wed 7 Oct. 2.30pm. £4 (£3.50). Original writing about the slapstick politics of banana fiends on benefits.

BRUNTON THEATRE Ladywell Way, Musselburgh, 665 2240. Only an Excuse? Sat 26 Sep. 7.30pm. £14.50 (£12.50). See Glasgow, Royal Concert Hall. Shakespeare Schools Festival Tue 29 Sep. 7pm. £7.50 (£5.50). A unique arts-education initiative enabling young people to perform abridged productions of Shakespeare’s most famous plays. You can see four different plays performed by four different school groups in just two hours.

✽✽ Little Johnny’s Big Gay Musical ●●●●● Fri 2 Oct.

7.30pm. £10.50 (£8.50; under 18s £6). See Glasgow, Paisley Arts Centre. Curse of the Demeter Sat 3 Oct. See Kids listings. The Three Musketeers Thu 8 Oct. 7.30pm. £10.50 (£8.50; under 18s £6). Radio 4 double act Judith Faultless and Alys Torrance reinvent Dumas’ classic as an hour of physical comedy and bizarre plot twists. CHURCH HILL THEATRE 33a Morningside Road, 529 4147. Let Us Entertain You Until Sat 26 Sep. 7.30pm (Sat mat 2.30pm). £8–£12. Showcase Musical Production’s annual musical extravaganza in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support. This year’s show features the usual range of song and dance numbers, from Broadway and West End, to chart toppers of today and yesteryear. All proceeds to Macmillan Cancer Support.

KING’S THEATRE 2 Leven Street, 529 6000. The Steamie Mon 28 Sep–Sat 3 Oct. 7.30pm (Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm). £12.50–£25 (£9.50–£22). Tony Roper’s washhouse comedy about the relationships between a group of working women as they rush to finish their work before the New Year bells. The Silver Darlings ●●●●● Tue 6–Sat 10 Oct. 7.30pm (Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm). £12.50–£25 (£9.50–£22). Stage adaptation of Neil Gunn’s popular novel chronicling the adventures of inhabitants of a Scottish herring fishing village as the community recovers from the effects of the Highland Clearances. FESTIVAL THEATRE 13/29 Nicolson Street, 529 6000. Little Shop of Horrors Mon 28 Sep–Sat 3 Oct. 7.30pm (Thu & Sat mat 2.30pm). £11–£30 (£8–£27). The cult musical about a shy florist who discovers that his favourite plant is a flesh-craving, foul-mouthed, R’n’B-singing alien from outer space with a mission to take over the world.

Little Johnny’s Big Gay Musical Fresh from its well- received outing at this

year’s Fringe, Random Accomplice resurrect the all-singing, all-dancing tale of diminutive anti-hero Little Johnny, as he sashays, taps and vogues his way into town, from his mother trying to ‘kill him’ in the womb to turning 30. Thu 1 Oct, Paisley Arts Centre, Glasgow, 0141 887 1010, 7.30pm, £10 (£6); Fri 2 Oct, Brunton Theatre, Edinburgh, 0131 665 2240, £10.50 (£6.50–£8.50).

86 THE LIST 24 Sep–8 Oct 2009

www.list.co.uk/theatre

PLAYHOUSE 18–22 Greenside Place, 0844 847 1660. Disney’s Beauty and the Beast Until Thu 1 Oct (not Sun). See Kids. Lord of the Dance Tue 6–Sun 11 Oct. 8pm (Sat/Sun mat 2.30pm). £27.50–£28.50. The Irish dance phenomenon revives its Good vs Evil tale, which premiered in 1996. THE QUEEN’S HALL 87–89 Clerk Street, 668 2019. Dangerously Yours . . . Until Thu 24 Sep. 7.30pm; 1.30pm. £10 (£5–£7). See Glasgow, Platform.

ROYAL LYCEUM THEATRE Grindlay Street, 248 4848.

✽✽ The Beggar’s Opera Until Sat 3 Oct (not Sun/Mon). 7.45pm (Sat 26 Sep & Sat 3 Oct mat 2.30pm). £12–£27. A new version by Vanishing Point of John Gay’s 1728 comic opera. Adolf Hitler: My Part in his Downfall Tue 6–Sat 10 Oct. 7.45pm (Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm). £9–£27. A new stage adaptation of Spike Milligan’s war memoirs told through comedy, jazz, song and dance. A Bristol Old Vic Production.

SCOTTISH STORYTELLING CENTRE 43–45 High Street, 556 9579. The YelloWing Sat 3 Oct. 7.30pm. £7 (£5). A highly physical, multidisciplinary solo performance by Julia Taudevin, created in response to Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s The Yellow Wallpaper. Part of the Scottish Mental Health Arts and Film Festival 09. Chrystal and the General Thu 8 & Fri 9 Oct. 7.30pm. £8 (£6). An interactive telling of two suffragette stories, written by Jo Clifford. TRAVERSE THEATRE Cambridge Street, 228 1404. The Sun, the Moon and a Boy Called River Until Sat 26 Sep. See Kids listings. Confined Human Condition Fri 25 & Sat 26 Sep. 8pm. £12–£16. A music theatre double-bill presented by award winning Cryptic, which explores the minds and emotions of two women one crippled with grief, the other with love. FREE Words Words Words Mon 5 Oct. 8pm. Informal readings of short pieces (two–four pages) by playwrights at all stages of their work. The Dark Things Tue 6–Sat 17 Oct. 8pm (Sat 17 Oct mat 2.30pm); Sun 6pm. £8–£16 (£5–£12). Five lost souls collide in Ursula Rani Sarma’s new work about art, fame and death.

Outside the cities DUNDEE REP Tay Square, Dundee, 01382 223530. The Silver Darlings ●●●●● Until Sat 26 Sep. 7.30pm (Thu & Sat mat 2.30pm). £14–£18. See Edinburgh, King’s Theatre. On Our Way to Lisbon Fri 2 Oct. 7.30pm. £14 (£12). Two supporters fondly remember how Celtic became the first British team to lift the European Cup in 1967 and draped Europe in green, white and gold. The House of Bernarda Alba Tue 6–Sat 10 Oct. 7.30pm (Thu & Sat mat 2.30pm). £12–£18 (£9–£15). See Glasgow, Citizens Theatre.

PERTH THEATRE 185 High Street, Perth, 07838 621031. The Steamie Until Sat 26 Sep. 7.45pm (Sat mat 2.30pm). £14–£17.50 (£9.50–£12; children £7). See Edinburgh, King’s Theatre. Curse of the Demeter Tue 29–Wed 30 Sep. See Kids listings. Last of the Summer Wine Tue 6–Sat 10 Oct. 7.45pm (Sat mat 2.30pm). £16 (£10–£14). Return to the halcyon days of Foggy, Compo and Clegg as they reunite for this brand new stage adaptation of the TV classic.