FirstWord IAIN M. BANKS

The Fife-born author of 24 sci-fi books and mainstream novels talks to The List about Led Zeppelin, bacon rolls and his continual surprise at being slightly famous

First record you ever bought There were three, the day after I persuaded my parents to buy a decent stereo: Led Zeppelin I, Led Zeppelin II and Deep Purple In Rock. First film you saw that really moved you Possibly Greyfriars Bobby, an ancient Disney film, I believe. In my defence, I was terribly young.

Last lie you told ‘I’ll email you’. No idea who I said this to.

Last time you cried Can’t remember. Possibly watching Casablanca again, or at almost any Morton game.

First thing you do when you’ve got time off work Go on a hill walk. Though, to be fair, this happens quite a lot even when I am supposed to be working. Last great meal you cooked Ha ha. I can just about follow a recipe, but by general consent there is never anything ‘great’ about the result.

wheelie cases.

Last book you read Solaris Book of new Science Fiction, Volume Three.

First great piece of advice you were given Never bet on lower than a pair of tens. Last time you were star struck This is not a problem I’m afflicted with.

First thing you’d do if you ran the country Demand a recount.

Last meal on Earth what would it be Rubbish, regardless, I’d imagine wouldn’t you think? First song you’ll sing at karaoke Happily, I have succeeded in avoiding this entertainment form so far and have the firm intention of continuing to do so.

Last time you exploited your position to get something I am proud to report that the words ‘Do you know who I am?’ have only ever passed my lips when I have been extremely drunk, and on such occasions they a) constitute a serious, literal enquiry and b) are slurred to the point of utter incomprehensibility. Phew!

First time you realised you were famous Honestly, it still comes as a sort of continual surprise that I am, even slightly. So, earlier today, probably.

seconds ago, in a chat room. Happily I have no way of knowing (OK, I do have the means, just not the inclination). First three words your friends would use to describe you Still waiting to find out; the cunning rascals keep discovering the listening devices.

Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it The rubbish phone I bought a fortnight ago when I realised I was off to the Prague Writers’ Festival and had left my iPhone at home. It’s pish. Can’t wait to get home and throw it away.

Last extravagant purchase you made Two items of ‘Bridge’ luggage; the larger

Last time someone criticised your work Technically, quite possibly only about ten First concert you ever attended Jack Bruce, in Paisley Town Hall I think, back in 1970 or 1971.

Last time you bought someone flowers About a month or so ago, for my smashing girlfriend.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning Muesli? Or bacon roll? Last thing you think of before you go to sleep I’ll definitely have muesli for breakfast tomorrow.

Edinburgh International Book Festival, 14–30 Aug. The Highland Park Event, RBS Main Theatre, 0845 373 5888, 16 Aug, 8pm, £10 (£8). Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger?, Highland Park Spiegeltent, 0845 373 5888, 28 Aug, 7pm, £10 (£8).

WeLike Festival special: the things making our August just that little bit better

We like the personality transplant that Edinburgh undergoes round about this time every year. Suddenly Auld Reekie is dressing a little differently, she’s staying out late, she’s flirting with different dancers and comedians every night, and opening

her mind to all manner of Chekhovian cabaret and bath-tub acrobatics. (That’s ‘Cabaret Chekhov’ and ‘Soap!’, incidentally.)

She’s a fun-loving girl, but a cruel mistress too and three weeks trying to keep up with her can bankrupt or physically buckle even the toughest souls. Still, we wouldn’t have her any other way.

Besides the world-class arts festival going on, we like people-watching on the streets. It’s free, and there is more chance of Abi Titmuss doing something

entertaining. (Ouch! Sorry to any fans of rugby-theatre hybrids.) Hanging around in Edinburgh so far this month we’ve spotted Simon Callow carrying a Toblerone through Stockbridge (an excellent choice, we casually noted), an otherwise sensibly dressed man wearing furry wolf headgear (was he even a performer, we wonder?) and Jim Jefferies caught red-handed enjoying a soft drinkin a beer garden. Shocker!

2 THE LIST 12–19 Aug 2010