Festival Theatre
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PEDESTRIAN Fishy tale from an engaging performer ●●●●●
Tom Wainwright’s monologue, which he performs with simple but effective animation creates a man haunted by the surreal vision of a giant goldfish. Said Piscean apparition appears in a recurrent dream, while its narrator walks through the shopping precinct of an average British city, and propels him through a hellish world of theatre riots and Tesco customers, who the narrator classifies into such socially specific groups as ‘wankers’, ‘cunts’ and ‘fuckwits’. Wainwright has an engaging
performance style, and there are some very funny and effective moments in a piece which focuses on the political inertia of the white English liberal middle classes. It’s a Marcusean nightmare, this, in which the bespoke affluence of Tesco customers overwhelms their desire to question or act against ills of which they are perfectly well aware. The piece might
CELEBRITY AUTOBIOGRAPHY Cripplingly funny dramatic readings of stars’ biographies ●●●●●
Emmy award-nominated writer Eugene Pack opens the show with some cheesy wordplay: ‘We take one event and show how different celebrities have portrayed it, in a section we like to call “Rashômon, and on, and on, and on . . .”’ It’s not hard to imagine that Pack’s CV is largely made up of beauty pageant, award ceremony and Disney parade scriptwriting.
Thankfully, the purpose of Celebrity Biography is not to showcase Pack’s penmanship: the meat of the show is contained in excerpts from celebrity autobiographies ‘in their own words’ (this is emphasised), read out by a host of stars. Sure, we don’t get quite the same star-studded line-up the US run has enjoyed: our special guest readers tonight include UK comic actors James Lance and Tiffany Stevenson rather than Matthew Broderick and Brooke Shields (although we do get George ‘Norm from Cheers’ Wendt). But the real stars are the celebrity scribes themselves.
David Hasselhoff discusses his first appearance in a Broadway musical; Ivana Trump talks child rearing; Diana Ross recounts the apocalyptic disaster of a rained-off Central Park gig. As the night goes on, more and more deluded icons are quoted: Peter André and Katie Price go head to head; Sly Stallone tries to give work-out advice over Tommy Lee’s explicit sex tips. All readings are delivered either with wide-eyed, deadpan innocence, or dripping with irony and innuendo (marvel at Pack as he describes Tiger Woods ‘stroking his putt’).
Events escalate until every performer is on the stage at once: the love triangle between Debbie Reynolds, Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fisher requires a full cast (including an excellent Lance as Richard Burton). The audience is already in hysterics when the dénouement is delivered: a seven-person reading of Britney Spears’ Crossroads Diary. Cripplingly funny stuff. (Niki Boyle) ■ Udderbelly Pasture, 0844 545 8252, until 30 Aug, 7.25pm, £12.50–£16.50 (£11–£15).
72 THE LIST 19–26 Aug 2010