MOST-SPOTTED CELEBRITIES

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ED BYRNE ALEX ZANE

Seen: gesticulating wildly; squealing excitedly; punning. Seen: running to the toilet; wearing eyeliner; strutting camply.

OMAR Seen: wearing garish flammable fabrics; chatting to Simon Callow.

JAMES LANCE Seen: propping up various bars at the Gilded Balloon and Espionage.

SIMON CALLOW Seen: carrying a Toblerone; chatting to nu-classic soul pioneer Omar.

HARDEEP SINGH KOHLI

Seen: alternately being mobbed by adoring female fans in Bannerman’s, and looking lonely at Gilded Balloon.

JASON MANFORD Seen: moaning about YouTube.

JOHN BISHOP Seen: chatting on the phone while posing under his own billboard.

JARRED CHRISTMAS

Seen: greeting old ladies with a kiss; saying, ‘jolly good’.

FESTIVAL STATISTICS

THE LIST FESTIVAL AWARDS 2010

Hunkiest Ever Bunch of Crusties on a Junkyard: The cast of Be-Dom, Udderbelly’s Pasture.

Best Use of Glittering Matador Trousers in an STI- themed Performance Art Event: Bryony Kimmings in Sex Idiot, Zoo Roxy. Best Impression of a Garden Gnome: The identical Nelson Twins, Gilded Balloon Teviot.

Most Middle-Class Reaction to On-Stage Defecation: The politely applauding Traverse audience in Martin Creed’s Ballet Work No. 1020, Traverse Theatre. Best Use of Foodstuffs as Shower Gel: Joint first place for the Wau Wau Sisters (for their naked red wine shower, Assembly Rooms) and Becki Gerrard in Lip Service (for her naked milk shower, C Soco).

Most Transparently Cynical Marketing Ploy: Lesbian Bathhouse, Assembly Rooms (narrowly beating casting Abi Titmuss in Up & Under, Assembly Rooms). The Stomach-Churning Dedication to Comedy Even When it Might Mean Death By Alcohol Poisoning Award: Jeremy Lion, Pleasance Dome.

Best Show in which a Horse-Headed Woman Dances Flamenco to Woo a Tiger, to a Trip Hop Soundtrack: Regretrospective, Zoo Roxy. Only on the Fringe, eh?.

Wettest Venue: The Caves (very drippy after a rainstorm). Most Disturbingly Realistic Insect Impersonation: Karin de la Penha in The Fly in the Fridge, Sweet Grassmarket.

10 ANDY ZALTZMAN

Seen: lurking around the Voodoo Rooms alleyway; having coffee with Rory Bremner. The Bernard Manning Memorial Award for Tireless Service To Misogyny: Jim Jefferies, as usual. Take his mother-in-law. Do. Yawn. Udderbelly’s Pasture.

BEST SHOWS 2010 The nine Festival shows below are the only ones (so far) to have received a five-star review from The List

PENELOPE Traverse Theatre, until 29 Aug

MY ROMANTIC HISTORY Traverse Theatre, until 29 Aug

STRASSMAN: DUALITY Pleasance Courtyard, until 30 Aug BO BURNHAM Pleasance Dome, until 29 Aug

WE SAID: ‘Enda Walsh seems to be ascending to a higher plane. This is complex, beautiful and somehow very Irish writing.’ (Kirstin Innes) WE SAID: ‘Cartoonish and witty . . . It’s been a couple of years since this old theatre hound laughed so much just see it.’ (Steve Cramer)

WE SAID: ‘Hilarious mind-bending psychodrama . . . Duality takes the ancient art of ventriloquism up several notches. Absolute genius.’ (Miles Fielder) WE SAID: ‘Parcel up the Best Newcomer gong, attach it to the main prize, post it to Bo and let’s all just go home, OK?’ (Brian Donaldson)

THEY SAID: ●●●●● (Fest); ●●●●● (Big Issue); ●●●●● (Edinburgh Spotlight). THEY SAID: ●●●●● (Scotsman); ●●●●● (Telegraph); ●●●●● (Guardian).

THEY SAID: ●●●●● (Chortle); ●●●●● (FringeReview.co.uk).

THEY SAID: ●●●●● (Telegraph); ●●●●● (Guardian); ●●●●● (Independent).

THE BOY WITH TAPE ON HIS FACE Gilded Balloon, until 29 Aug

EXTINGUISH theSpace on the mile @ Jury’s Inn, until 28 Aug IT’S ALWAYS RIGHT NOW, UNTIL IT’S LATER Traverse Theatre, until 29 Aug

WE SAID: ‘Despite the scope and weighty subject matter, this is neither portentuous nor pretentious, just honest, lyrical, intelligent theatre.’ (Kirstin Innes) WE SAID: ‘This may be Daniel Kitson’s masterpiece . . . but you’ve got to hope that there’s something even more beautiful to come.’ (Jonny Ensall)

THE AUTHOR Traverse Theatre, until 29 Aug WE SAID: ‘Examines the forms of voyeurism involved in art . . . Seldom in recent years has the unwritten contract between actor and audience been so powerfully exploited.’ (Steve Cramer)

WE SAID: ‘It’s an understanding of which secret combinations of gesture, light and music can make almost everyone laugh.’ (Sam Healy) THEY SAID: ●●●●● (Guardian); ●●●●● (Telegraph); ●●●●● (Chortle).

THEY SAID: ●●●●● (Skinny); ●●●●● (FringeReview.co.uk).

THEY SAID: ●●●●● (British Theatre Guide); ●●●●● (Metro). THEY SAID: ●●●●● (Scotsman); ●●●●● (Fest).

Our ninth five-star review is Tommy Tiernan at the Gilded Balloon, which appears in this issue’s Comedy section 26 Aug–9 Sep 2010 THE LIST 13