Comedy

MY COMEDY HERO JO CAULFIELD The Stand, Glasgow, Thu 21–Sat 23 Oct

Joan Rivers is like The Rolling Stones: you may not like what she’s turned into but her early work will blow your mind. She was the first female comic I really connected with. She made me laugh LOUD and HARD: ‘A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes she’s a tramp.’ There were no female stand-ups before Joan Rivers: she was the original, the rest were comedy actresses. She was a trailblazer in a mail-dominated industry: ‘I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.’

I’ve read her autobiography countless times. Her career went up, it went down, but she never gave in, she kept on working. Again, take a minute to think about that: Joan Rivers is 77 and she’s still writing jokes, still working. My grandparents are also in their 70s: they spend most days trying to find their glasses. ‘I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, “the man goes on top and the woman underneath”. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.’ Rivers should be spoken about in the same way as Richard Pryor or

Robert Klein. If she was a man, she’d wouldn’t be any funnier, but she’d be more respected. That speaks volumes about gender in our society. ‘It’s so long since I’ve had sex I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.’ And finally, if you want to make a joke about her leathery complexion,

don’t bother. She beat you to it: ‘I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.’ (Interview by Brian Donaldson; jokes by Joan Rivers)

Events are listed by date, then city. Submit listings at least 14 days before publication to comedy@list.co.uk. Listings are compiled by Siân Bevan. ✽✽ Indicates Hitlist entry Heresy basement lives on, with a weekly offering of dark and filthy comedy. The Thursday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £8 (£7; members £4). Host Susan Morrison introduces Nick Revell, Gary Little and Ed Patrick.

Edinburgh highlight Comedy Highlight, Omni Centre, Greenside Place, 0844 844 0044. 8.30pm. From £10. Michael Legge, Anthony King and Geoff Boyz perform. The Friday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £10 (£9; members £5). See Thu 21. The Improverts Bedlam Theatre, 11b Bristo Place, 225 9893. 10.30pm. £4.50 (£4; members £3.50). This troupe, with its changing line-up, has been at the improv game for donkey’s.

Saturday 23

Glasgow ✽✽ Armstrong & Miller King’s Theatre, 297 Bath Street, 0844 871

7648. 8pm. £21. See Fri 22. highlight Comedy Highlight, UGC Building, 11 Renfrew Street, 0844 844 0044. 8pm. From £12. See Fri 22. Comedy at the State The State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 332 2159. 8.15pm. £6 (£5). Headliner Keir McAllister is joined by Barry McDonald, Jay Lafferty, Geoff Gawler and MC Chris Broomfield. Jongleurs Tiger Tiger, Glassford Street, 08700 111 960. 8.30pm. £15. See Fri 22. The Saturday Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £13. See Thu 21.

Edinburgh ✽✽ Rob Deering The Pleasance Theatre, 60 Pleasance, 650 2656.

8pm. £10 (£6). Musical strummings and gentle gags from the comedian with the cheesiest grin on the circuit. highlight Comedy Highlight, Omni Centre, Greenside Place, 0844 844 0044. 8.30pm. From £10. See Fri 22. Fit O’ The Giggles Saturday Show Beehive Inn, 18 Grassmarket, 225 7171. 9pm. £5. A weekly line-up of experienced comics in a cheap and very cheerful show. The Saturday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £13. See Thu 21.

Sunday 24

Glasgow FREE Comedy at the Ivory Ivory Hotel, Langside Avenue, Shawlands, 636 0223. 8pm. The Shawlands gig rises up again, with a fresh batch of comedy faces.

✽✽ Ed Byrne The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. SOLD OUT. Likeable floppy- haired Byrne returns.

Edinburgh FREE Whose Lunch is it Anyway? The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 1.30pm. Stu and Garry offer up some improvised comedy.

✽✽ Armstrong & Miller Festival Theatre, 13/29 Nicolson Street, 529

6000. 8pm. £21.50. See Fri 22. The Sunday Night Laugh-In The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £5 (£4; members £1). Gary Little, Chris Henry, Garry Dobson and Dee Custance do their thing.

5 THINGS

YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT . . . ARMSTRONG & MILLER 1 Ben Miller did a PhD in physics including a thesis entitled ‘Novel Quantum Effects in Quasi-Zero Dimensional Mesoscopic Electron Systems’. Alexander Armstrong has an English degree. Growing up outside Crewe, Miller’s parents were state-sector teachers while Armstrong hails from Northumberland, and his folks were both in the medical profession. 2 Miller voiced the woolly monkey in those TV ads opposite Johnny Vegas while Armstrong has become the most prolific post-Deayton guest host of Have I Got News for You, having sat in the hotseat 16 times. He then became a serious frontrunner for the Countdown chair when Des O’Connor fled in 2008 but decided he didn’t fancy being pigeonholed as a presenter.

3 In 2004, Miller was Armstrong’s best man and let slip to the press that the stag do (‘the most effeminate in history’) had involved some icing of cakes. Armstrong hit back saying that his crew had gone out clubbing in Taunton. Not sure which activity is ultimately more rock’n’roll.

4 Miller has often been mistaken in the street for Rob Brydon. To the point where he started carrying a photo of himself with the Welsh funnyman to show people who is who and what was what. 5 Their production company is called Toff Media, so entitled because a telly exec said they were too posh to have their own show. (Brian Donaldson) King’s Theatre, Glasgow, Fri 22 & Sat 23 Oct; Festival Theatre, Edinburgh, Sun 24 Oct.

Thursday 21

Glasgow ✽✽ Stewart Lee King’s Theatre, 297 Bath Street, 0844 871 7648. 7.30pm. £18.50. The estimable Mr Lee indulges us with some Vegetable Stew. The Thursday Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £8 (£7; members £4). Bruce Devlin hosts, with Jo Caulfield (see My Comedy Hero), Daniel Sloss and Elaine Malcolmson. Headspace Platform, The Bridge, 1000 Westerhouse Road, Easterhouse, 572 0125. Times and prices vary. Activities include a comedy club for kids and other chucklesome events. Part of the Scottish Mental Health Arts and Film Festival.

Edinburgh FREE Heresy The Jekyll & Hyde, 112 Hanover Street, 225 2022. 9pm. The

42 THE LIST 21 Oct–4 Nov 2010

Friday 22 Monday 25

Glasgow ✽✽ Armstrong & Miller King’s Theatre, 297 Bath Street, 0844 871

7648. 8pm. £21. The sketchsome duo take a break from telly success for a live version of their schtick. See 5 Things, right, and First Word, page 2. highlight Comedy Highlight, UGC Building, 11 Renfrew Street, 0844 844 0044. 8pm. From £12. Rising star Elis James joins Dougie Dunlop and Rich Wilson. The Friday Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £10 (£9; members £5). See Thu 21. Jongleurs Tiger Tiger, Glassford Street, 08700 111 960. 8.30pm. £15. Brendan Riley, John Simmit, Mike Milligan and Tanyalee Davis are on show here. Headspace Platform, The Bridge, 1000 Westerhouse Road, Easterhouse, 572 0125. Times and prices vary. See Thu 21.

Glasgow How Do I Get Up There? The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £5 (£4; members £2.50). The exciting sketch troupe put on their funny shoes for the evening. Edinburgh Fit O’ The Giggles Absolute Beginners Beehive Inn, 18 Grassmarket, 225 7171. 8pm. £2 (£1). Another line-up of hopeful new comedians. Red Raw The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £2 (£1). Host Stu Murphy introduces rookies, with an experienced headliner to top off the fun.

Tuesday 26 Glasgow FREE Comedy at the Halt Bar The

Halt Bar, 160 Woodlands Road, 352 9996. 8.30pm. Glasgow’s popular newbies night, jamming with some hot new comedy beats. Red Raw The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £2 (£1). New acts try their luck on stage. Host is Rebecca Donohue.

Edinburgh Stephen Carlin and Gary Delaney The Pleasance Cabaret Bar, 60 Pleasance, 7.30pm. £5 (£4). Deadpanning Carlin is joined by the Dark Lord of one-line gags.

✽✽ Ed Byrne The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. SOLD OUT. See

Sun 24. We Happy Few presents. . . The Banshee Labyrinth, 29–35 Niddry Street, 8.30pm. £3. Monthly showcase, with Ben Verth, Who is Jean? and Mickey Anderson.