Film HALLOWE’EN DVDS DVD Roundup

For this Hallowe’en special we step into the outer reaches of horror and examine some of the films that have been refused a certificate by the British Board of Film Classification. Of course it’s impossible to have a discussion on banned movies in the UK without mentioning Video Nasties, and if you want to learn more Video Nasties: The Definitive Guide (Nucleus Films) ●●●●● is a comprehensive history (running at over eight hours over three discs) of the films themselves and the ensuing moral panic. Of course in these more enlightened times nearly all these films are legally available on DVD (though often with heavy cuts), except for 11 titles including the positively quaint The Werewolf and the Yeti (1975) ●●●●●● which plays like a particularly cheap campy Hammer Horror how it ended up on the banned list is utterly baffling. The Japanese shocker Guinea Pig (1985) ●●●●● was never even submitted to the BBFC, perhaps unsurprising as there’s no attempt at narrative, just a woman being tortured and eventually killed by three men. The second instalment in the same series, Flower of Flesh and Blood (1985) ●●●●●, features a samurai slowly dissecting and dismembering a young woman in grisly detail. This is pure horror in its most extreme form. On a technical level the cinematography in both films is exquisite, and the special effects shockingly realistic but truly astounding. Even while the content disgusts the films are still visually intriguing and weirdly mesmerising horrific, nasty and challenging but strangely artistic in their purity of vision.

Mikey (1992) ●●●●● was a victim of circumstance, caught up in the

furore surrounding the Jamie Bulger case due to its depiction of a young boy murdering his adoptive family. It’s always unnerving to see a child committing acts of violence but Mikey is a mediocre film, with the acting and production values of a TV movie.

Perhaps the most notorious film of recent years is August

Underground (2001) ●●●●●. The simple premise is that two dumb hick serial killers videotape their exploits. It’s a grimy, hand-held catalogue of torture, murder and abuse that has been deliberately retrograded to look like a genuine snuff movie. It certainly accomplishes what the directors set out to achieve. It’s an ugly, uncomfortable film, an endurance test that pushes at the boundaries.

100 Tears (2007) ●●●●● is a simple slasher film as two tabloid

reporters track the Teardrop Killer, a gigantic homicidal clown with a huge cleaver. Painfully low budget, it almost makes up for its shortfalls with enthusiasm and the sheer volume of gruesome kills (the body count hits the 30s). It’s all so OTT it’s just a bit silly rather than offensive. Japan’s Grotesque (2009) ●●●●● is the most recent film to be banned in the UK. A young man and woman are bundled into the back of a van, to wake up strapped to an operating table where an unnamed doctor proceeds to torture them for ‘sexual excitement’. Limbs, digits and appendages are defiled with scalpels, chainsaws, hammers and nails but what actually holds the film together is the love story between the two victims.

These films are illegal and while we wouldn’t want to encourage anyone to

break the law in the age of the internet nothing is unobtainable. Whether they should be banned is another question entirely . . . (Victor Creed)

56 THE LIST 21 Oct–4 Nov 2010

HORROR DEAD CERT (18) 93min (Momentum) ●●●●●

Two of modern cinema’s most over used clichés collide when vampires meet cock-er-ney gangsters in this tired Brit flick as Romanian bloodsuckers try to muscle in on an East End strip club owned by Craig Fairbrass. What could have been a cheesy romp (after all there’s not really any more depth to be found in the plot of From Dusk till Dawn) is just a dull slog. There’s a perfectly serviceable cast (Billy Murray, Steven Berkoff, Jason Flemyng, even Danny Dyer pops up for his requisite five minutes) but Dead Cert lacks ambition. You can’t pin all the blame on the budget as films like Evil Dead, Bad Taste and Paranormal Activity have proved a good idea and a lot of love can overcome any monetary shortfall. Pedestrian and predictable. (Henry Northmore) HORROR THE HORDE (18) 93min (Momentum) ●●●●● BIG TIT ZOMBIES 3D (15) 73min (Terracotta) ●●●●●

Dead (unfortunately we mean Zack Snyder’s 2004 remake not Romero’s opus). The film starts off as a gritty urban police actioner before all hell breaks loose, and soon cops and gang members form an uneasy truce to fight side by side against the titular zombie horde before it all climaxes in an almighty bloodbath.

The Horde takes its zombies seriously which is something you could never accuse Takao Nakano’s Big Tit Zombies of. BTZ goes for simple pleasures as a troupe of strippers fight off a plague of the undead, and, despite the occasional bare breast and chainsaw dismemberment, it’s surprisingly cute and innocent; action sequences are clumsy, the special effects charmingly amateur. The film has moments of inspired lunacy and is sure to attain some level of cult status but if you are after more yucks for your buck go for the unhinged splatter-punk thrills of Tokyo Gore Police or Meatball Machine. (Henry Northmore)

HORROR NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (18) 96 mins (Kaleidoscope) ●●●●●

Surprsingly France is at the forefront of new extreme horror cinema, and while The Horde isn’t as subversive as Frontier(s), Martyrs or Inside it’s a wildly entertaining mix of La Haine and Dawn of the Hollywood’s unquenchable appetite for remakes means even near-forgotten schlock horror cheapies are getting the remake treatment. Night of the Demons

was a lurid, gory, late- night favourite from 1988 and this updated version is just as goofy as a group of revellers (including a doughy Edward Furlong as a lowlife drug dealer) get attacked/possessed by demons at a Hallowe’en party in a haunted New Orleans mansion. It could do with picking up the pace in the first act but this is a knowing homage to 80s horror comedy and once it kicks off it’s a rip snorting riot of boobs, blood and demonic beasties. NotD isn’t a subtle film but it’s good fun if you’re willing to disengage the brain and go along for the ride. (Henry Northmore) HORROR PSYCH 9 (18) 93 mins (indi VISION) ●●●●●

Unfortunately, Psych 9 takes itself way too seriously. Roslyn (Sarah Foster) finds temporary employment on the nightshift helping to clear out an abandoned hospital, while a serial killer (dubbed the Night Hawk by local media) prowls the local streets. Soon unexplained noises, creepy kids and apparitions are crawling out of the woodwork as Roslyn works through ghosts from her own past in informal counselling sessions with co- worker Dr Clement (Cary Elwes). Foster’s overly jittery performance isn’t helped by an infuriating script, as there are a couple of nice ideas lurking in there, that insists on sticking to weary haunted house formulas while desperately attempting to add depth by layering on pseudo- psychological nonsense instead of genuine scares. (Henry Northmore)