Mailbox Ask Bob

Bob Servant, window cleaning kingpin and beneficiary of Dundee’s Cheeseburger Wars, turns Agony Uncle for The List

Bob, As a publican I’m worried about the economy hitting my takings. As a pub-goer yourself, can you give me any tips? Toby D, The Cuckoo’s Nest Pub, Tollcross Toby, The most important thing with a publican is having a red face and being able to send messages only using your eyes, whether it’s ‘that’s a belter of a story and feel free to double up with another’ or ‘put down the chair and leave’. It lets you manage the place without resorting to shouting and ruining the atmosphere. The best landlord in Dundee was Winker Berkeley, who at the last count could send 47 messages using only his eyes. The great tragedy is that one of those messages wasn’t ‘I’m not joking I really have just had a heart attack’. Bob

Bob, I was considering applying for some Olympic tickets but the prices seem a trifle steep. Are they worth it? Neal D

Neal, Back in the day me and the boys considered driving to cheer on the Brits at the 1972 Munich Olympics (popularly known as the Hitler Olympics which I felt was provocative, being so long after the war). Once we added everything up the tickets, the petrol, the ferry, the protection for the Fife leg, we realised we’d be better buying ourselves gold medals and watching it on the telly. Scrap it Neal and come to Broughty Ferry Gala Week. It’s free to get in and the skirt is Olympic class. Bob Send your questions to bob@bobservant.com twitter.com/bobservant

LETTER OF THE FORTNIGHT HARD CHOICE Re: The Hard Man I went to see The Hard Man night, and was captivated from the moment it started to the end. The full cast were superb, but when Alex Ferns stood alone on the stage, stepping forward and fixing his eyes on the audience with his steely stare, the atmosphere was intense and the whole theatre was in silence, hanging on his every word.

I have seen many plays in Scotland, London and elsewhere and have never felt so enveloped by a perfomance from any cast. The script from Tom McGrath obviously was the extra cast member, however the interpretation of it and the skill displayed by the actors in this production was spellbinding.

Yes, it is violent, but it’s part of telling the story and necessary. If I were you, I wouldn’t miss it. Sensational! Dinkyfeetser, Polmont thehardman.co.uk, currently touring. See also Review of Reviews, page 9.

THE LETTER OF THE ISSUE WILL RECEIVE ONE BOTTLE OF THE BLACK GROUSE WHISKY Smoky and Smooth a marriage of fine peated Scotch malt whiskies and The Famous Grouse

NEXT ISSUE Wednesday 25 May

SUMMER FESTIVALS The sun has most assuredly got his hat on and it’s an oversized felt jester number with bells on. This can only mean that RockNess, T in the Park et al are just around the corner. Check out our summer festivals guide next issue for this season’s highlights. EIFF Calling ‘Action!’ for the 65th time, the Edinburgh International Film Festival will feature a line-up of guest curators and the wide-ranging theme ‘All That Heaven Allows’. How will you know which films are utterly unmissable? Why, thanks to your good friend The List.

120 THE LIST 28 Apr–26 May 2011

CONTRIBUTORS Publisher & General Editor

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