Mailbox Ask Bob
Bob Servant, window cleaning kingpin and beneficiary of Dundee’s Cheeseburger Wars, turns Agony Uncle for The List
Dear Bob, The Scottish football season ended in a flurry of letter bombs and death threats. You must have faced some similarly hairy attention in your time? Liam B Liam, People get jealous and here I am with a big house and eyes like Omar Sharif so, yes, I’ve had my fair share of hassle from the boo boys. I reckon I’ve even had a few letter bombs, but seeing as I live within the troubled Dundee East postal area they probably took off some poor guy’s hands three streets over. Stay safe, Bob
Dear Bob, The missus and I have just moved to sunny Drymen and my mother-in-law is now here all the time, pointing out burst lightbulbs and asking about the boundary fence. How do I get the mad
old bat to beat it? Murray M
Murray, You need to create a ‘challenging atmosphere’. Use loud noises, flashing lights and shouting to disorientate her. It’s about getting inside her head, finding her very worst fears and turning them ‘all the way up to 11’. If she’s scared of spiders then suddenly appear dressed as one. If she’s scared of foreigners then suddenly appear dressed as one. I would stress that you should feel absolutely no shame about this. Your mother-in-law is a grasping, needy woman who needs to be taken down a peg or two. Last resort? Waterboarding. Best wishes to you and yours, Bob Send your questions to bob@bobservant.com twitter.com/bobservant
LETTER OF THE FORTNIGHT STEEL THE SHOW As a scientist from a family which includes engineers who’ve worked on the Clyde, it depresses me that the new Riverside Museum [see feature, page 61] is leaning towards an arty presentation of things. It's transport – you should be talking about the fantastic engineering produced in Glasgow: ships on the Clyde as well as trains at St Rollox and buses in Falkirk. Also great scientific discoveries like the steam engine, James Watt being from here and all. Jen France, Glasgow Comment posted at list.co.uk
Editor’s note: Can’t the practical rub shoulders with the arty? In itself Zaha Hadid’s incredible museum design shows how impressive engineering and incredible art can be one and the same thing.
THE LETTER OF THE ISSUE WILL RECEIVE ONE BOTTLE OF THE BLACK GROUSE WHISKY Smoky and Smooth – a marriage of fine peated Scotch malt whiskies and The Famous Grouse
NEXT ISSUE Wednesday 22 June
T IN THE PARK The daddy of Scottish music festivals is looming once again. We’ll have loads of facts, figures, interviews and behind the scenes info, as well as the complete guide to making the most of the festival site. EIFF It’s not over yet. The Edinburgh International Film Festival continues . . . and so do we, with the second part of our exclusive day planner, and Alan Warner talking about the films of Jerzy Skolimowski.
144 THE LIST 26 May–23 Jun 2011
CONTRIBUTORS Publisher & General Editor
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Georgi Lindsay, Kirsty McLaren SALES & MARKETING
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SECTION EDITORS Around Town Kirstin Innes
Books/Comedy Brian Donaldson Clubs/Play Henry Northmore
Dance/Kids Kelly Apter Food & Drink Donald Reid
Film Paul Dale LGBT Lauren Mayberry
Music/Shopping Claire Sawers Noticeboard Anna Millar
Theatre/Visual Art Allan Radcliffe