FirstWord Ben Miller
The Moving Wallpaper actor has taken time off from his comedy partnership with Alexander Armstrong to direct a feature film, Huge. He confesses to abusing his banana privileges
First record you ever bought? ‘Boys Keep Swinging’ by David Bowie. On the set of Huge, when I met Thandie Newton.
Last extravagant purchase you made? My iPad.
First film you saw that really moved you? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Last lie you told? OK, my first record was actually ‘Wild West Hero’ by ELO.
First movie you ever went on a date to? Kramer vs. Kramer. Odd choice. Last time you cried? Yesterday.
First thing you do when you’ve got time off work? Have a deep bath.
Last great meal you cooked? A pea risotto, a shamefully long time ago. First crush? Lesley Judd, sometime presenter of Blue Peter.
Last book you read? Behind the Shades, about Bob Dylan.
First great piece of advice you were given? Urine should be colourless. Last time you were star struck?
First thing you’d do if you ran the country? Bring back the law where a portion of a cinema ticket revenues went back into making British films.
Last meal on earth – what would it be? Ravioli. First song you’ll sing at karaoke? ‘Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll’ by The Killers.
Last time you exploited your position to get something? I just asked my assistant for a banana. First time you realised you were famous? Tom Cruise is famous. I’m that bloke in that thing on telly.
Last time someone criticised your work? Roger Goldby, the director on Death in Paradise, the detective show I am currently filming in Guadeloupe, just accused me of looking much too sweaty.
First three words your friends would use to describe you? Barmy, foodie, boffin. Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it? An exercise bike, four weeks ago.
First concert you ever attended? Rolling Stones at Wembley in 1982. First job? In the sorting office at Crewe post office.
Last thing you recommended to someone? Cut the Rope game from the Apple App Store.
First object you’d save from your burning home? My Gibson gold top guitar. Last funny thing you saw online? That YouTube clip of a bloke jumping out of a helicopter and wrestling a marlin. [See it at bit.ly/marlinman if you’re curious.]
Last crime you committed? Cycling offence. Those lights aren’t meant for me. First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? My family.
Last thing you think of before you go to sleep? My family. ■ Huge, selected release from Fri 8 Jul. See Film Also Released, page 64.
WeLike The things making our world just that little bit better
■ We’re loving the work of Rap Master Maurice, aka Seattle artist Derek Erdman (derek erdman.com), who will, for a small fee, telephone anyone who’s dissed yo shit and subject them to a short ‘vigilante battle rap’ based on the manner in
which they’ve offended you. Here he is in his ‘one-piece revenge kilt’. Just don’t call it a dress, or he’ll pop a rhyme in your receiver.
Tossing the caber of enjoyment from the snug pleats of one kilt to another, Twitterers among us also enjoyed the #scottishfilms hashtag, which turned up A View to a Kilt, along with sure-fire blockbusters There’s Something About Maryhill, Milngavies and Dolls, Buckfast at Tiffany’s and our own Troon: Legacy, before Ian Rankin (@beathhigh) turned the concept inside out and made our heads hurt with Crocodile Dumfries. Respect.
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We have some free copies of Go the Fuck to Sleep, the ‘children's book for adults’ currently taking the publishing world by storm, from Canongate Books. You can totally win one. Plus you can also hear it being read by Samuel L Jackson. Fo’ real.
2 THE LIST 23 Jun–21 Jul 2011