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Canada’s cabaret comedy diva Sharron Matthews hits the high – and low – notes of life on the Fringe
Y ou know my fave place to take a nap in Edinburgh? The hill right beside the Half Price Hut on Princes Street: it is soft, it is shaded by trees and if you place yourself properly, no one can see you sobbing into
your phone on a million dollar phone call to Canada . . . on a cell phone . . . from Princes Street Gardens . . . in EDINBURGH!
are
When you a new, international performer at the Fringe, like I was just last year, and no one knows you, you have got to fill those seats. Being the
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STUFF AND NONSENSE Stuff and Nonsense is a celebration of the random tat on sale at jumble sales, charity shops and the like. The show’s creator, Paul Harry Allen, shared this love by sending us a set of coasters, tumblers and creepy drinks stirrers, packaged in a homemade box with pictures of puppies stuck on and tied with a paisley ribbon. Top marks for presentation. We also got a bunch of other stuff that you can check out on our Bribe Blog at list.co.uk/festival; alternatively, you can still send in your own bribe to: Big Fat Fringe Bribe, The List, 14 High Street, Edinburgh, EH1 1TE. ■ Stuff and Nonsense, Laughing Horse @ Finnegan’s Wake, 15–26 Aug (not 21), 4.45pm, free (ticketed).
12 THE LIST 11–18 Aug 2011
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sweaty-handed flyers in my bag and took off in a funk. I walked and walked (Edinburgh is freakin’ hilly) and ended up on the aforementioned hill, questioning my existence, my reasons for coming to the Fringe, the clothes that I packed (sundresses and open-toed shoes) . . . and then I pulled out my recently purchased cell phone and called my husband in Canada, and just cried and complained . . . and cried . . . and whined. All the tourists were staring at
me.
So what, people? Have you never seen a grown woman in a sundress (with sport socks, trainers and a hoodie) have a good cry in public? And then I turned my head . . . there it was . . . the Half Price Hut. Like a beacon. Like a mirage. Like a place for me to figure out how to sell my freakin’ show.
The people in this line-up, they wanted to be won over, they wanted the show before the show, they wanted to pretend not to look at you, they wanted you to make them love you and they wanted it all for half price. Those minxes: they’re like a slutty boyfriend who you know will put out eventually, but just needs to be convinced that it’s worth the bother to take off their clothes.
Let it be said that I sold many a ticket there. I sang all of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ for one dude. This year, I want to sell all my tickets for full price. Greedy, I know. But I’ll maybe go and have a skanky cheat with the Half Price Hut a couple of times for old time’s sake.
Sharron Matthews Superstar: Jesus Thinks I’m Funny, Space Cabaret @ 54, 0845 557 6309, until 27 Aug (not 21), 8.05pm, £12.50 (£10.50).
NewsExtra NEWTON FIRST BOOK AWARD ■ Here at The List we are delighted to be sponsoring this year’s Newton First Book Award, as part of the Edinburgh International Book Festival. Unlike many literary awards, it is up to you, the reader, to take the chance and cast your vote for who you want to crown the most promising debut novelist appearing at this year’s Festival. Take the opportunity to peruse them all online at edbookfest.co.uk/thefestival/ newton-first-book-award then make your choice.
performer, producer and promoter, this gal (me) had to come up with a plan. After battling my jet lag (I know, boo hoo for me, right?), I tried my wares in the Fringe ticket line-up for three hours on my first day. It was not going well. Not well at all – like super bad. I stuffed my