First&Last The chart-topping ‘Read All About It’ rapper is a fan of designer jackets, Sunday roasts and hip hop mogul-endorsed technology. Oh, and the C-word. You’ve been warned . . .
First record you ever bought The ‘Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini’ 7”. And what!? Last time you exploited your position to get something I got free Nando’s yesterday.
Last crime you committed It wasn’t me . . .
Last extravagant purchase you made A Balenciaga jacket.
First time you realised you were famous
When someone asked me for a picture, then didn’t pass me the camera to
First song at your (potential) wedding ‘It Wasn’t Me’ by Shaggy. Last song at your funeral Anything by the Pet Shop Boys.
First film you saw that really moved you E.T. Last lie you told I’ve never lied. Ever.
P R O F E S S O R G R E E N
Last time someone criticised your work Happens on a regular basis. First person you’d thank in an award acceptance speech Obama.
First movie you ever went on a date to No idea. Cinema is a terrible place to date. No talking. Last time you cried My dad’s funeral.
First thing you do when you’ve got time off work Twiddle my thumbs and find something to occupy my time with. Last great meal you cooked Sunday roast.
First crush Liza, a girl in my primary school. Ended up giving her a black eye. She pitched, I was batting. Ball straight in the eye. Surprisingly, I never got with her. Last book you read Am reading Keith Richards autobiography, Life. Might as well know a little about what I’m getting myself into.
First great piece of advice you were given Real friends will never be a hindrance to you.
Last time you were star struck Walking into the men’s at the rehearsal studios. Nearly knocked Tom Jones out with the door. Apologised then realised who it was. Perhaps it was more shock than being star struck?
First thing you’d do if you ran the country Employ a second in command. Take a holiday. Last meal on earth – what would it be? A fruit smoothie with ecstasy in it. At least I’d go happy.
First song you’ll sing at karaoke ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ is always a good way to get things going. 6 THE LIST 17 Nov–15 Dec 2011
First three words your
friends would use to describe you Kind. Loyal. Cunt.
Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it In the words of Dappy . . . no regrets.
First concert you ever attended Does Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat count? My gran dragged me to this. Last time you bought someone flowers My nan, not long ago.
First object you’d save from your burning home My dog. Not so much an object but my priority all the same. And my Balenciaga jacket. Last funny thing you saw online The new Duck Sauce video where everyone’s genitals are human heads [‘Big Bad Wolf’ – see it at bit.ly/ wolfsauce].
First word you spoke Cunt. Maybe that’s not true . . . or maybe it is, I am a born cockney after all.
Last thing you
recommended to someone
Beats by Dre iPod dock.
First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning Depends on who I’m lying next to.
Last thing you think of before you go to sleep Why do I have to be up in three hours!?
■ Barrowland, Glasgow, Mon 28 Nov; HMV
Picture House, Edinburgh, Tue
LAST MEAL ON EARTH? A FRUIT SMOOTHIE WITH ECSTASY IN IT.