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Thumb through THE YES OR NO GUIDE TO THE MONTH AHEAD
MUSIC Feist, Glasgow Royal Concert Hall Our favourite Canuk ever to have cameo’d in a Muppets movie.
SHOWBIZ Whitney Backlash Already tired of the crass articles in ladies’ mags and Bobby Brown’s silly mug on every TV channel he could find? Us too.
TV New series of Shameless Nothing quite like a weekly look into the boghole that is Chatsworth estate to make you count your blessings.
BOOKS Vampire Diaries: Moonsong No. More. Vampires. Please. Insert your own ‘overkill’ pun here.
PLAY PS Vita Humans. Reject tawdry real life. PS Vita has way more explosions.
MUSIC Rihanna feat. Chris Brown, ‘Birthday Cake’ Forget the whole domestic abuse jive. It’s just a crap song.
LIFESTYLE Marni for H&M In the spirit of this stylish issue, we say yes to patent leather tops on the high street.
WeLike The things making our world just that little bit better
■ This issue, in a style worthy of a disgruntled popular ballad singer, we’re giving the finger to modernity, to smartphones and solving every argument with recourse to Wikipedia. We like the good old fashioned pub conversation. And if the dreams and schemes conjured out of hops, salt’n’vinegar crisps and an inflated sense of one’s own genius go on to have a life outside the pub, all the better.
As in the case of Bon Rappetite restaurant, which for a moment last month came tantalisingly close to being reality, when a few ad execs who had spent a night punning on the back of a napkin actually made a vaguely convincing website for their hip hop-themed joint –
Queen LaPizza and Master P Soup
were good, but Roastface Killah took the proverbial.
Requiring considerably more creative effort, some of it probably while sober,
was the endlessly entertaining theyfightcrime.org pulp fiction scenario generator, which comes up with ludicrous pairings such as ‘He’s a scrappy skateboarding messiah possessed of the uncanny powers of an insect. She's an elegant out-of-work research scientist with the power to bend men's minds. They fight crime!’ Lastly, our infrequent Bizarre Press Release of the Week Award goes to the International Festival of Owls (yep, it exists), who are pleased to announce that ‘an 18- inch spotted eagle owl who has raised broods in a plant pot on a balcony in urban South Africa is this year’s owl addition to the World Owl Hall of Fame.’ Congratulations that bird, who surely joins Hedwig, Plop (the owl who was afraid of the dark) and Owl from Winnie the Pooh on that illustrious list of names.
NEXT ISSUE Wednesday 28 March
THE ART ISSUE To mark the beginning of the Glasgow International Festival of Visual Art (or the GI if you’re in-the-know), we take a look at some of the most interesting artists working in Scotland today. Among this number are musical ECA upstarts FOUND, whose Unravel collaboration with Aidan Moffat will be at SWG3 in Glasgow. BEST BREAKFASTS It’s the most important meal of the day, apparently, so we’ve deemed it worth our while to hunt down the best breakfasts in Edinburgh and Glasgow. Whether you’re into greasy spoons or organic muesli, we’ll find something to butter your crumpet. Figuratively speaking.
128 THE LIST 1–29 Mar 2012