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FIRST&LAST First record you ever bought ‘Jennifer Juniper’ by Donovan.

EDWYN COLLINS The former Orange Juice frontman talks dignity, Donovan and being drop dead gorgeous

Last extravagant purchase you made A 1958 Gretsch Anniversary guitar, laden with what we in the trade call ‘case candy’. All its original tags, paperwork, polishing cloth, etc.

First film you saw that really moved you Ring of Bright Water. Last lie you told I do not lie. Honesty is the best policy.

John Lydon.

Last time you were starstruck Starstruck? At my age? First thing you’d do if you ran the country Resign.

Last meal on earth: what would it be Something fishy. First song you’ll sing at karaoke Have never done it. I’ve sung Elvis’ ‘I Just Can’t Help Believing’ at family parties.

NEXT ISSUE WED 17 APR

First film you took someone on a date to I have no idea what that would have been. First thing you do when you’ve got time off work I sit down and draw.

Last time you exploited your position to get something Not my style. It’s undignified. First time you realised you were famous I’m only a little famous. I move through life unmolested.

Last great meal you cooked Salt fish and ackees, 2004.

First crush Linda Garel in Dundee.

Last time someone criticised your work A London Evening Standard live review thought I should hide indoors after my stroke. Ha ha ha.

Last book you read John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men. First three words your friends would use to describe you Drop Dead Gorgeous.

First great piece of advice you were given ‘Never trust a hippie’ O2 ABC, Glasgow, Thu 18 Apr. Collins’ new album, Understated, is released on Mon 25 Mar.

THE EATING & DRINKING GUIDE It’s cause for a birthday celebration, as our annual Eating & Drinking Guide reaches its landmark 20th edition. It’ll be stuffed with over 900 freshly-picked comprehensive, trustworthy reviews from our team of independent food reviewers; garnished with write-ups of over 100 new openings and arrivals across Edinburgh and Glasgow; and served with a side order of highly- regarded Eating & Drinking Awards, highlighting the best in each category from both cities. Tuck in free with the next issue of The List.

Misadventures IN WONDERLAND

SILVER SCREAMER This issue we send Alice, a self-confessed movie hater, to All Night Horror Madness, a ten-hour film marathon at the Cameo cinema

just thinking about Forrest Gump, so in a way about a hospital where a puffy-nippled woman

I felt I’d completed movies and didn’t need to ran around screaming about her test results.

watch any more. I also don’t like feeling scared. Another was set in a hotel where everyone had

On arriving at All Night Horror Madness at an unlimited supply of acid dropped on them

11pm, I realised that it was more of a hoo-ha and I think the last one was about a wrestler

than I had anticipated. People had brought who lived in a slum and where people were

their own dinner to munch on while old-school being brainwashed via TV. I don’t know because

trailers on the big screen whetted the crowd’s I was covered in Doritos and asleep under my

appetites. The ladies toilet queue was shorter coat by this point.

than the worst-hot-dog-in-the-world line, which When it was done, everyone was looking

reminded me of a time when the only use I rough, but that’s what an all-nighter of drinking

For God’s sake. There are two things I don’t

had for the Cameo was when I lived round the warm beer, eating junk food and Citylink-level

do. One is eat cereal (because pouring milk

corner with my first ever boyfriend and was too sleep will do to a person. Walking out into

on things that are crispy is disgusting) and the scared to shit in the flat when he was in.

the cold light of day, the camaraderie and

other is watch films. I’ve never got it. Owning

Was I supposed to be reviewing these films? friendship we’d built during our shared night-

a short attention span but never a DVD player The first was about a man in a suede suit

long experience slowly dissolved and we turned

hasn’t helped.

killing redhead prostitutes. The second was back into strangers, staggering off into the

Although the fact that I’ve only ever watched about a disease that turned Australians into

sunrise and resembling most of the characters

about 20 films has now become a talking point, bloodthirsty monkeys. (I’m guessing a bit

I’d like to point out that I have seen Showgirls with the next three because I lost my mind

six times and The Human Centipede twice. I cry somewhere along the way.) There was one

we’d just spent the last ten hours watching. To find out about the next All Night Horror Madness see facebook.com/allnight.horrormadness

112 THE LIST 21 Mar–18 Apr 2013