list.co.uk/comedy Events are listed by date, then by city. Submit listings at least 14 days before publication to comedy@list.co.uk. Listings are compiled by Kirstyn Smith. Indicates Hitlist entry

Thursday 14

Glasgow The Thursday Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335

8879. 8.30pm. £10 (£7; members £5). Kick off those brogues and start your weekend early with Brendon Burns, Simon Donald, Susie McCabe, Gareth Mutch and host Martin Mor.

Edinburgh The Thursday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £10 (£7; members £5). With Josh Howie, Alan Francis, John Gavin, Jay Lafferty and host Joe Heenan. Friday 15

Glasgow The Friday Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879.

8.30pm. £12 (£10; members £6). See Thu 14 for line-up. Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs, The Glasshouse, 20 Glassford Street, 0870 011 1960. 8.30pm. £10–£12. With Brendan Riley, John Ryan, Janey Godley and Raymond Mearns. Vespbar Comedy Club Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 10pm. £8 (£6). Top circuit comedians strut their funny stuff each weekend.

Edinburgh Harry, My Cat Died The Banshee Labyrinth, 29–35 Niddry Street, 558 8209. 8pm. £6. Twitter is good for a lot of things: keeping up with friends, following the day-to-day lives of celebrities, breaking news. But there’s a sect of young girls who use it solely to get Harry Styles to follow them often by proclaiming their cat has died. Stephen Frizzle looks at this odd phenomenon. FREE The Horse’s Mouth Comedy The White Horse, 266 Canongate, 557 3512. 8–10.30pm. Up and coming comedians with a headliner each time for precisely zero pence. The Beehive Comedy Club Beehive Inn, 18 Grassmarket, 225 7171. 8.30pm. £8. Ben Verth presents a weekend packed full of top local and visiting comedians to tickle your funny bone in an entirely appropriate way. The Friday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £12 (£10; members £6). See Thu 14 for line-up. Saturday 16

Glasgow Jason Byrne’s Special Eye Theatre Royal, 282 Hope Street,

0844 871 7647. 8pm. New high-energy show from the maniacal stand-up. See preview, page 52. Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs, The Glasshouse, 20 Glassford Street, 0870 011 1960. 8.30pm. £10–£12. See Fri 15. Comedy @ The State The State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 332 2159. 9pm. £7 (£5). The granddaddy of Glasgow comedy venues attracts some top comedians to its wee basement of joy.

The Saturday Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335

8879. 9pm. £15. See Thu 14 for line-up, but Susan Morrison replaces Martin Mor. Vespbar Comedy Club Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 10pm. £8 (£6). See Fri 15.

Edinburgh Harry, My Cat Died The Banshee

COMEDY

5 THINGS . . . YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT . . . SHAZIA MIRZA

1 Her comedy career began not too long before a certain terrorist attack on a certain big American city. Those events provided her with a dream opening line and much press attention. ‘My name is Shazia Mirza. At least that’s what it says on my pilot’s licence.’ 2 She had previously used her degree in biochemistry from Manchester University to become a schoolteacher in a tough establish- ment in London’s East End. Mirza was raised as a strict Muslim, and it’s fair to say that her parents did not wholly approve of this dramatic career shift. When interviewed about this, Mirza insisted that her fam- ily were glared at each time they went to the local mosque. For her own part, Mirza says she was determined not to end up like the kitchen-bound aunties she would meet at family gatherings. 3 She reckons that Sweden has the best comedy audiences: not only do they have little problem with laughing, but they have no concept of heckling. 4 Mirza wrote a column for The New Statesman between 2006 and 2009, and for The Guardian in 2010. The latter was entitled Diary of a Disappointing Daughter, where she wrote about such dilemmas as how parents find it difficult to praise their kids face to face, visiting the Moulin Rouge on her own, and being chat- ted up at Jim Morrison’s grave. 5 One of her ambitions is to have a jacuzzi and a cleaner some day. This might well be a joke. (Brian Donaldson) The Stand, Edinburgh, Tue 3 Dec; The Stand, Glasgow, Wed 4–Sun 8 Dec.

13-30 NOVEMBER 2013 5000 YEARS

14 Nov–12 Dec 2013 THE LIST 53

STAND-UP DR PHIL HAMMOND The Stand, Edinburgh, Sun 1 Dec; The Stand, Glasgow, Mon 2 Dec

Just what is it about the medical profession that gets the comedy juices flowing? TV history is resplendent with hospital-based sitcoms from Only When I Laugh to Scrubs, Green Wing to Getting On, and Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place to Let the Blood Run Free (meanwhile, Comedy Central has just announced plans to produce a pilot episode of a student sitcom called Medics). Of course, the medical revue has a long and distinguished past and

the likes of The Goodies’ Graeme Garden and Monty Python’s Graham Chapman began the trend of those with qualifications in medicine turning to laughter for a career. Later notable instances have included the Amateur Transplants duo, Harry Hill, Simon Brodkin (who courted some controversy by ‘browning up’ as Dr Omprakash) and Paul Sinha, while Phil Hammond is now here with a touring show entitled Games to Play with Your Doctor, happily deciding to keep that job title in his stage name. His own stab at a medical sitcom, Polyoaks, has successfully aired on Radio 4.

But you don’t need to have been an actual bona fide stethoscope- wearer at some point to know that corporeal matters can be very funny indeed. Toby Williams is responsible for one of the most visceral doctorly creations in recent times with his intensely realistic performance as monstrous medic George Ryegold having tickled ribs and sent shivers down the spine over a few Fringes. And Edinburgh Comedy Award nominee Mike Wozniak first gained attention with a show about pain in the penile region with such wince-worthy detail that could only have come from long hours studying some pretty sick journals. (Brian Donaldson)

Labyrinth, 29–35 Niddry Street, 558 8209. 8pm. £6. See Fri 15. The Beehive Comedy Club Beehive Inn, 18 Grassmarket, 225 7171. 8.30pm. £8. See Fri 15. The Saturday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £15. See Thu 14 for line-up.

Sunday 17

Glasgow Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £6 (£5; members £1). Redmond returns with his lo-fi comedy and Simon Donald, Chris Conroy, Keiron Nicholson and Bob Graham. Edinburgh FREE Whose Lunch Is It Anyway? The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 1.30pm. Regular freestyle comedy wizards Paul Graham and Stuart Murphy fire up the imagination with another slice of improv action. Hal Cruttenden: Tough Luvvie The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £12. Intelligent breaking down of jokes from former Rob Brydon support Cruttenden.

Monday 18

Glasgow Gary Faulds’ Comedy Circus DRAM!, 232–246 Woodlands Road, 332 1622. 8–10.30pm. £2. Each week six comedians try out their new stuff. Hal Cruttenden: Tough Luvvie The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £12. See Sun 17. Edinburgh Red Raw The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £2. The Stand’s new talent night includes Owen McGuire.

Tuesday 19

Glasgow FREE Pop-Up Comedy The Halt Bar, 160 Woodlands Road, 353 6450. 8.30pm. Some of the Scottish comedy scene’s freshest talent. Red Raw The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £2. Weekly beginners’ showcase where bright young things strut their stuff. Edinburgh Ben Verth’s Notebook Beehive Inn, 18 Grassmarket, 225 7171. 8.30pm. £3. One of our fave hirsute funny types takes to the stage for an evening of wit.