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FIRST&LAST First record you ever bought Jive Bunny’s ‘Swing the Mood’. Yes, I know.

JACK THORNE The BAFTA-winning writer of A Long Way Down talks Travolta, taps and extra- terrestrials Last extravagant purchase you made I just bought a house with my wife Rach and we’re currently doing it up. And it turns out taps are really expensive. So, taps.

First film you saw that really moved you ET. Still does.

Last lie you told I told Rach that I didn’t like the really expensive taps. When the truth is, I just didn’t like the expense. First thing you do when you’ve got time off work Turn on the TV.

Last great meal you cooked I did a chicken thing with herbs and chorizo and stuff last week. I cook every night: it’s part of the marriage pact. I don’t really do fancy.

First crush Kelly McGillis.

Last book you read Boomerang by Michael Lewis. It’s brilliant. First great piece of advice you were given Be good. From ET.

Last time you were starstruck Hanging out with Pierce Brosnan on the set of A Long Way Down was quite an extraordinary thing to do. The interesting thing is, he never behaves like a star. He’s a really nice man. Last time you exploited your position to get something I got a ticket for the last night of Jumpers for Goalposts at the Bush Theatre.

First three words your friends would use to describe you I’d hope they’d describe me as a Big Friendly Giant. I suspect I’m angrier than that. Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it I tend to be over-cautious. Probably taps. I’m slightly obsessed with taps.

First object you’d save from your burning home I’d like to say our wedding album. But probably my laptop. Last funny thing you saw online John Travolta’s Oscar introduction for Idina Menzel prompted Slate to run a feature on ‘Travoltafying your name’. Mine is Jia Thompseen.

NEXT ISSUE WED 16 APR

EATING & DRINKING GUIDE Not to put too fine a point on it, but our annual guide to Scotland’s bars, cafes and restaurants is a big deal. Swelling this year to include 950 eateries, it comprises the same comprehensive and independent writing that has made the guide a steadfast part of Scotland’s scene for over 20 years. Free with the next List.

Last thing you think of before you go to sleep Shit. I’ve screwed up that scene about X involving Y.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning Shit. How am I going to write that scene about X involving Y? A Long Way Down goes on general release on Fri 21 Mar. See review, page 59.

Misadventures M IN WONDERLAND A SPOT OF STAND UP This issue we sent Alice to SUP, or Stand Up Paddling. Here’s how she got on

Did I fall in? Welcome to the majority of the standing upright. I fell in again the next time I

article. A few years ago in Sweden, I jumped tried it. The third time, I face-planted the board,

through a hole cut in a frozen lake partially out of which was a nice treat. It was looking grim for

choice. That was one of my many bad decisions. the guys’ 100% record for getting people up.

Not only do you not know which way is up in Did I ever get up? Picture the scene: me, in a

the pitch black darkness but you also feel like praying position, cold and wet and muttering,

all your skin and l esh has been ripped off the ‘I . . . just . . . can’t . . . do . . . it’. At this point,

bone. Back in mid-February, when I was told I Andy got behind me on his board and held mine

was going to be heading out onto the sea for still, while Barry coached me through it once

What’s SUP? I promise I won’t make that

this issue, I had l ashbacks of that time my body again. With the power of a thousand supportive

joke again. Stand Up Paddling is like stand-up

started to die. So let me assure you I was trying fathers they both got me standing, got me

kayaking on a surf board. You have a paddle, my best to stay upright.

paddling and got me doing the thing I was

a wetsuit, a life jacket and your board, and So I fell in? Of course I did: I fell over in a

there to do. They were proud. I was proud. The

the idea is you have a serene time on some of supermarket the other day when I crouched

group of gathered onlookers were proud. It was

Scotland’s best stretches of water. We went to down to get an avocado (read ‘an avocado’ as

the tranquil, calming experience that I’d been

Cramond, which was beautiful. Wilderness SUP ‘a coin off the l oor’). You start off relaxingly

promised. I looked around at the nature like I’d

is a business set up by Barry and Andy, the two paddling on your knees until you’re coni dent

never been let outside before.

loveliest men on Earth. And not once did they enough to get up. I fell in within a matter of

Would I recommend it? To everyone that has

l inch at how much of a nightmare I turned out seconds after I tried to get from the dignii ed

to be at this. all-fours position hold your tongue, Alice to

ever lived. Visit wildernesssup.co for more information.

112 THE LIST 20 Mar–17 Apr 2014