list.co.uk/comedy Events are listed by date, then by city. Submit listings at least 14 days before publication to comedy@list.co.uk. Listings are compiled by Kirstyn Smith. Indicates Hitlist entry

Thursday 20

Glasgow The Festival Club The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. Times vary. £15 (£12). Five top acts from the GICF. A Pizza Comedy Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 1pm. £10. Rob Kane hosts this lunchtime chat show. Billy Kirkwood The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 7.30pm. £7–£8. Billy chats mayhem. Joy Hunters The Griffin, 226 Bath Street, 331 5170. 7.30pm. £5–£6. Sara A new show compered by Duncan Leven. New Material Night Avant Garde, 34 King Street, 552 7123. 7.30pm. £4–£5. Relaxed night from Punch Comedy. Old Men Can’t Jump Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 7.30pm. £5–£7. Rod Hunter, John Purves and Les Sinclair combine. Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre DRAM!, 232–246 Woodlands Road, 332 1622. 7.30pm. £7–£8. A rude look at life as a puppet. Choose Your Own Sketch-venture Tron Theatre, 63 Trongate, 552 4267. 8pm. £10. You decide the fate of a young couple planning their wedding. Chris Ramsey The Garage, 490 Sauchiehall Street, 332 1120. 8pm. £16.50. Upbeat anecdotes, feelgood humour and witty observations. Vintage Comedy Reloved Eco Chic Boutique, 45 High Street, 552 5226. 8pm. £5. Some big talents perform their takes on classic routines. Andrew Learmonth Old Hairdressers, Renfield Lane, 222 2254. 8.30pm. £5. Learmonth weaves the tale of his murder- solving adventures. Best of West Brewery Comedy Club WEST Brewery, 4 Templeton Building, Glasgow Green, 550 0135. 8.30pm. £7 (£5 in advance). Jamie Dalgleish hosts some of his comedy buddies. Christian Schulte-Loh Blackfriars, 45 Albion Street, 552 5924. 8.30pm. £9 (£7). Comedy Deutsch-style, with the award- winning Schulte-Loh. Best of SCOTY DRAM!, 232–246 Woodlands Road, 332 1622. 9pm. £8–£10. Scotland’s funniest. Edinburgh Absolute Improv The Tron, 9 Hunter Square, High Street, 225 3784. 7–8pm. £5 (£3). ToBeContinued transform myriad ideas into improv gold. Men With Coconuts Canons’ Gait, 232 Canongate, 556 4481. 8.30–10pm. £5 (£4). Improv comedy. The Thursday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £10 (£7; members £5). Time for Bruce Devlin, Boothby Graffoe, Janey Godley, Ray Bradshaw and Gareth Mutch.

Friday 21 Glasgow The Festival Club The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. Times vary. £15 (£12). See Thu 20. Lunchtime Comedy Club Mansion House, Glasshouse, 20 Glassford Street, 553 4888. 1pm. £5–£10. Laughs & lunch. A Pizza Comedy Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 1pm. £10. See Thu 20. Cargo Hold Comedy The Tall Ship, 150 Pointhouse Place, 357 3699. 7.30pm. £6–£8. Motley crew storm the Tall Ship. Jealous Lassie’s Karma Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 7.30pm. £5–£7. ‘Camp quip comedy’. Joy Hunters The Griffin, 226 Bath Street, 331 5170. 7.30pm. £5–£6. See Thu 20.

Matt Richardson Blackfriars Basement, 45 Albion Street, 552 5924. 7.30pm. £10. Intelligent observations. Merchant City Comedy Pub Crawl Avant Garde, 34 King Street, 552 7123. 7.30pm. £12–£15. Find a different comedian in each pub. Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre DRAM!, 232–246 Woodlands Road, 332 1622. 7.30pm. £7–£8. See Thu 20. Basura Picks of the Fest Comedy Club Brunswick Hotel, 106–108 Brunswick Street, 552 1552. 7.45pm. £9–£10. Dolly mixture of fest faves. Paul Sinha The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 7.45pm. £12 (£11). An evening of thoughtful wit. FREE Billy Kirkwood Comedian Tattoo Studio, 105 West Nile Street, 332 3176. 8pm. Billy talks about body art. Dabek and Marty’s Electric Circus Flying Duck, 142 Renfield Street, 564 1450. 8pm. £3–£4. Paul Dabek and Martin McHendry present young up-and- coming comedy talent. Devitt and Storrie State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 332 2159. 8pm. £8–£10. Collaboration between Anna and Ashley. Doug Segal Tron Theatre, 63 Trongate, 552 4267. 8pm. £10–£12. Doug turns you into mind-reading mentalists. Gary Little Òran Mór, 731–735 Great Western Road, 357 6200. 8pm. £10. A straight-down-the-line night. Comedy Out West WEST Brewery, 4 Templeton Building, Glasgow Green, 550 0135. 8.30pm. £10. The best the festival has to offer. The Heresy Project Avant Garde, 34 King Street, 552 7123. 8.45pm. £5–£6. Why god is a nonsense. Stu Who? Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 8.45pm. £6–£8. Stu wonders why there are no lions in Scotland and why the young want sex with pensioners. Abigoliah Schamaun Blackfriars, 45 Albion Street, 552 5924. 9pm. £9 (£7). Filthy jokes from this New Yorker. Best of SCOTY DRAM!, 232–246 Woodlands Road, 332 1622. 9pm. £8–£10. See Thu 20. FREE Nev Halt Bar, 160 Woodlands Road, 353 6450. 9pm. Enjoy the ‘emotionally damaged disco of his mind’. Afterbirth State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 332 2159. 10pm. £4–£5. Comics ignore all boundaries. A to Z Improv Avant Garde, 34 King Street, 552 7123. 10pm. £4–£5. The graduates from ToBeContinued workshops take you on an improv ride. Vespbar’s Late Late Show Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 11.45pm. £5. Providing laughs until early. Edinburgh The Beehive Comedy Club Beehive Inn, 18 Grassmarket, 225 7171. 8.30pm. £9. Ben Verth presents a comic weekend. The Friday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £12 (£10; members £6). See Thu 20 but with Scott Agnew at the helm and no Janey Godley.

Saturday 22 Glasgow The Festival Club The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. Times vary. £15 (£12). See Thu 20. Ginger Ale Comedy Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 421 Sauchiehall Street, 333 0900. 12.30pm. £4–£5. Comedians, improvisers, ventriloquists and more. Lunchtime Comedy Club Mansion House, The Glasshouse, 20 Glassford Street, 553 4888. 1pm. £5–£10. See Fri 21. Otiz Cannelloni Tron Theatre, 63 Trongate, 552 4267. 2pm. £7.50. Questionable magic tricks, fake illusions and not-so-sleight of hand. Outcasts Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 6pm. £4. Natasha Yapp and Lope Ikto team up. Live at O’Neill’s O’Neill’s, 457 Sauchiehall Street, 332 9482. 7pm. £3–£5. Stand-up and music line-up.

Adam Kay’s Bum Notes Tron Theatre, 63 Trongate, 552 4267. 7.30pm. £10–£12. Spoofs of popular songs. Hailey Boyle Blackfriars, 45 Albion Street, 552 5924. 7.30pm. £9 (£7). Hotly- tipped US comic. Rob Kane Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 7.30pm. £8. How Rob’s role in Taggart has screwed things up for him. Seann Walsh The Garage, 490 Sauchiehall Street, 332 1120. 7.30pm. £12–£14. Observational humour. Basura Picks of the Fest Comedy Club Brunswick Hotel, 106–108 Brunswick Street, 552 1552. 7.45pm. £9–£10. See Fri 21. Mark Nelson The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 7.45pm. £7–£10. Wicked gags aplenty. Coalition of Comedy: Back and Fourth Flying Duck, 142 Renfield Street, 564 1450. 8pm. £3. Amusing people performing satire and stand-up. Nancy Clench Avant Garde, 34 King Street, 552 7123. 8pm. £6–£8. Late night games and fun. Phil Differ Òran Mór, 731–735 Great Western Road, 357 6200. 8pm. £10. Differ’s take on the perils of old age. Anna Devitt State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 332 2159. 8.30pm. £8–£10. Devitt explores conversations with strangers. Comedy Out West WEST Brewery, 4 Templeton Building, Glasgow Green, 550 0135. 8.30pm. £10. See Fri 21. Julia Sutherland Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 8.45pm. £6–£8. Sutherland discusses the chaos of her life. See My Comedy Hero, page 54. Sully O’Sullivan Avant Garde, 34 King Street, 552 7123. 8.45pm. £5. Counterculture combined with laughs. Best of SCOTY DRAM!, 232–246 Woodlands Road, 332 1622. 9pm. £8–£10. See Thu 20. Fern Brady and Stuart Mitchell The Griffin, 226 Bath Street, 331 5170. 9pm. £6–£9. Funny duo. Richard Gadd Blackfriars, 45 Albion Street, 552 5924. 9pm. £7–£9. Deranged, dark humour. Saturday Night at the State State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 332 2159. 9.30pm. £5–£7. A special festival outing of the year-round club. The Late Show WEST Brewery, 4 Templeton Building, Glasgow Green, 550 0135. 11pm. £10. Some festival comedy picks. Vespbar’s Late Late Show Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 11.45pm. £5. See Fri 21. Edinburgh The Beehive Comedy Club Beehive Inn, 18 Grassmarket, 225 7171. 8.30pm. £9. See Fri 21. The Saturday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £15. See Fri 21 but with Janey back in the saddle.

Sunday 23 Glasgow Lunchtime Comedy Club Mansion House, The Glasshouse, 20 Glassford Street, 553 4888. 1pm. £5–£10. See Fri 21. Dorothy Paul King’s Theatre, 297 Bath Street, 0844 871 7648. 2.30pm & 7.30pm. £19–£21. Familiar characters. Director’s Cut Avant Garde, 34 King Street, 552 7123. 7.30pm. £5–£6. Stand- up and panel show on a movie theme. Four Fifers for a Fiver Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 7.30pm. £5. The Kingdom’s comedic talents. Martin Mor The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 7.30pm. £10 (£9). Exuberant and fast-thinking circuit regular. Gary Little: My Time Òran Mór, 731–735 Great Western Road, 357 6200. 8pm. £10. See Fri 21. Ginger Ale Comedy The Griffin, 226 Bath Street, 331 5170. 8pm. £2–£3. See Sat 22. Twisted Loaf Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 421 Sauchiehall Street, 333 0900. 8pm. £7. Funny Women 2013 winners perform.

COMEDY

5 SHOWS WITH TITLES THAT MIGHT NEED SOME EXPLAINING AT . . . GLASGOW INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL

1 Smells Like Shite . . . Tastes Like Chicken Matthew Finlayson turns 30 and decides to make up his mind what he’s going to do with his life. He had a cat in his publicity pic for last August and has footage on his Facebook page of snakes and squirrels scrapping. We’re still not quite sure what any of it might mean. Roxy 171, Glasgow, Thu 20 Mar. 2 Do Bananas Dream of Plastic Fruit Baskets? A trio of men have cobbled together to join a club in order for some big questions to be asked and perhaps answered. These may include posers such as ‘what is your flabber and what is the maximum amount it can be gasted?’ And ‘can vampires get AIDS?’ It’s big stuff. Vespbar, Glasgow, Tue 25 Mar, 1 Apr. 3 Zuma + King Rizzler: Bring Sum Beef Here, we are promised stories that will be raw, bloody, yet with a side order of authenticity. It all might be dangerous stuff. Halt Bar, Glasgow, Wed 26 Mar. 4 Four Horsemen of the Acockolips This might be more straightforward, as some comics just tell a bunch of jokes (we think). Robin Grainger, Gareth Mutch, Andrew Sim and Liam Cumbers make up the delightfully named quartet. Avant Garde, Glasgow, Sat 29 Mar; Vespbar, Glasgow, Sun 30 Mar. 5 Zombie Science: Worst Case Scenario Theoretical Zombiologist Doctor Austin has all the know-how you’ll need to survive the apocalypse. You might also have to take an online exam to make sure you pass this life-or-death test. CCA, Glasgow, Wed 2 Apr. (Brian Donaldson)

Dan Bingham Blackfriars, 45 Albion Street, 552 5924. 8.30pm. £7–£9. This Canadian comic talks about being adopted. Improv Ninjas Avant Garde, 34 King Street, 552 7123. 8.45pm. £5. The Ninjas take your suggestions. Mark Nelson The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 9.30pm. £7–£10. See Sat 22. 20 Mar–17 Apr 2014 THE LIST 53