COMEDY Tuesday 6

Glasgow Improv Wars The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £2. It’s a fight to the death between improv experts Garry Dobson, Stu Murphy and Billy Kirkwood. FREE Pop-Up Comedy The Halt Bar, 160 Woodlands Road, 353 6450. 8.30pm. See Tue 22. Red Raw The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £2. See Tue 29, line-up tba. Edinburgh G Spot The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £5. Comedy, cabaret and ‘camparet’ with host Jojo Sutherland and a host of different guests each time.

Wednesday 7

Glasgow New Material Night Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 8pm. £3. See Wed 23. Edinburgh The Broken Windows Policy The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £5 (£4). Skits and character treats featuring the wbest of fresh Scots comedy, including Larah Bross, Dave MacGregor and Ben Verth.

Thursday 8 Glasgow Vespbar Virgins Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 8pm. £2. See Thu 17. The Thursday Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £10 (£7; members £5). The excellent Martin Mor hosts Phil Nichol and Alistair Green for a weekend of chuckles.

Edinburgh Absolute Improv The Tron, 9 Hunter Square, High Street, 225 3784. 7–8pm. £5 (£3). See Thu 17. The Thursday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £10 (£7; members £5). Susan Morrison takes charge this weekend, with Seymour Mace, Steven Dick, Paul F Taylor and Daisy Earl.

Friday 9

Glasgow Laughter Eight Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 8–9.30pm. £8. See Fri 2. The Friday Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £12 (£10; members £6). See Thu 8, but with Matt Winning. Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs, The Glasshouse, 20 Glassford Street, 0870 011 1960. 8.30pm. £15. With Garr Murran, Rudi Lickwood and Raymond Mearns. Vespbar Comedy Club Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 10–11.45pm. £10. See Fri 18, but with Scott Agnew, Jane Walker and Jamie Rolland. MC Viv Gee. Edinburgh The Beehive Comedy Club Beehive Inn, 18 Grassmarket, 225 7171. 8.30pm. £9. See Fri 18. FREE Second Friday of the Month Improv Show The Kilderkin, 67 Canongate, 556 2101. 8.30–10pm. The A to Z Players make up comedy right in front of your very eyes. Literally anything could happen. The Friday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £12 (£10; members £6). See Thu 8 for line-up.

Saturday 10

Glasgow Laughter Eight Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 8–9.30pm. £8. See Fri 2. Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs, 54 THE LIST 17 Apr–15 May 2014

MY COMEDY HERO CRAIG CAMPBELL Brunton Theatre, Musselburgh, Thu 1 May; Macrobert, Stirling, Fri 23 May

‘Hero’ seems to slacken by the day, drifting from those who’ve achieved status through heroic deeds to those who merely avoided real work by peddling yarns. Comedy is deception, fabrication, veritable half-truths through to outright lies: are these the tools of heroes of lore? Comedians, as this article’s sycophantic exercise proves, are desperate social parasites scrabbling shamelessly upward, clawing over the backs of fellow acts, longing to embed deeply within the comfy coat-tails of those whose talent has already flooded mainstream banks. These behaviours touch not the realm of the Hellenic ideal.

In front of every great comedic talent lies the toil and tragedy of lesser-known but no less talented clowns who funnily enough couldn’t buy a break or whose break, when it finally came, fell upon their legs, their neck or their will. Famous acts I’ve barnacled will regale you of unknowns sharper, wittier, more abundantly talented than they but to whom through curse of fate, notoriety was denied. Fame sometimes seems as much a battle of continuing to remain alive as any other skill. Comedic lives are very often tortured, with comedy clearly being a mechanism to cope.

‘Hilarious’ existences end in tragic-comedy, in foetal decay on beaches, cold boulders playing final pillows, angry steel crushing soft lonely flesh, hell’s heartless curtains smothering hope’s flickering light and, though each loss tragic, none a hero define. Heroes risk all they are, and ever will be, to save anonymous others: the 1925 Nome serum run’s ‘Wild Bill’ Shannon or DC’s Potomac plunger Lenny Skutnik are these. During glorious zeniths, comedians are at best great opportunists, spinning private, excruciating emotional pains and hidden personal agonies into shared public ecstasies: find heroism in that if you’re able. (Interview by Brian Donaldson)

The Glasshouse, 20 Glassford Street, 0870 011 1960. 8.30pm. £16. See Fri 9 for line-up. The Saturday Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 9pm. £15. See Fri 9 for line-up. Vespbar Comedy Club Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 10–11.45pm. £10. See Fri 18, but with Scott Agnew, Jane Walker and others. Edinburgh The Beehive Comedy Club Beehive Inn, 18 Grassmarket, 225 7171. 8.30pm. £9. See Fri 18. The Saturday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £15. See Thu 8 for line-up.

Sunday 11

Glasgow Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £6 (£5; members £1). See Sun 27, but with The Reverend Obadiah Steppenwolfe III, Matt Winning and Siân Bevan. Edinburgh FREE Stu and Garry’s Free Improv Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 1.30pm. See Sun 20. Footlights Comedy Edinburgh Footlights, 7 Spittal Street, 229 6466. 7.30–10pm. £3. See Sun 20. Waverley Care Benefit The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £8 (£6). Vladimir McTavish, Keir McAllister and Jim Park get together to raise funds for Waverley Care.

Monday 12

Glasgow Hal Cruttenden: Tough Luvvie The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £12. Intelligent breaking down of jokes from Cruttenden. Edinburgh Red Raw The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £2. See Mon 21, but with Liam Withnail.

Tuesday 13

Glasgow FREE Pop-Up Comedy The Halt Bar, 160 Woodlands Road, 353 6450. 8.30pm. See Tue 22. Red Raw The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £2. See Tue 29, line-up tba. Edinburgh Jo Caulfield Presents . . . The Speakeasy Scottish Storytelling Centre, 43–45 High Street, 556 9579. 8–10pm. £6. A relaxed evening featuring a diverse bill of artists (magicians, comedians, writers and more) telling true stories from the haunting to the hilarious. Hal Cruttenden: Tough Luvvie The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £12. See Mon 12.

Wednesday 14 Glasgow New Material Night Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 8pm. £3. See Wed 23.

BBC Comedy Presents The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £4. See the rising stars of comedy before they get too big for their boots at this night of comedy shows in development. If you’ve got an idea for a script and want your material performed, email scotlandcomedy@bbc.co.uk. Edinburgh Fresh Mutton Comedy The Pear Tree House, 34 West Nicolson Street, 667 7533. 8pm. £2. See Wed 30. Melting Pot The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm. £5 (£4; members £2.50). Vote for the best of the new sketches and skits from local comedy types and revel in the fact that you’ve probably cheered up a writer’s night.

Thursday 15

Glasgow Vespbar Virgins Vespbar, 14 Drury Street, 204 0060. 8pm. £2. See Thu 17. The Thursday Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0844 335 8879. 8.30pm. £10 (£7; members £5). Billy Kirkwood hosts Junior Simpson and Fern Brady. Edinburgh Absolute Improv The Tron, 9 Hunter Square, High Street, 225 3784. 7–8pm. £5 (£3). See Thu 17. Men with Coconuts The Canons’ Gait, 232 Canongate, 556 4481. 8.30– 10pm. £5 (£4). See Thu 17. The Thursday Show The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £10 (£7; members £5). Bruce Devlin hosts Gavin Webster and Jamie Dalgleish.