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FIRST&LAST GARY LITTLE The comedian chats to us about Munros, clown paintings and prison table tennis championships

First record you ever bought Suzi Quatro ‘Devilgate Drive’. Last extravagant purchase you made 1969 Omega watch. First film you saw that really moved you Loads, but one that gets me all the time is Cinema Paradiso.

Last lie you told I was prison table tennis champion three years in a row (it was only two years in a row). First thing you do when you’ve got time off work Climb Munros.

Last crime you committed Theft of books. First crush Linda Macdonald.

Last book you read Louis-Ferdinand Céline Journey to the End of the Night. First thing you’d do if you ran the country Close the House of Lords. Last meal on earth what would it be? Rhubarb and custard. First song you’ll sing at karaoke ‘By the Time I Get to Phoenix’.

Last time you exploited your position to get something I don’t have a position to exploit! First three words your friends would use to describe you Loud, shouty, annoying. Last song at your funeral ‘I Will Survive’.

First concert you ever attended Buzzcocks. Last thing you recommended to someone ‘Listen to me.’

First object you’d save from your burning house Painting of a clown. Last time someone criticised your work I’m sure it happens regularly, but back in 2009 was the last time in print.

First job Butcher.

Last time you cried Most days it happens. First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning The dugs want out. Last thing you think of before you go to sleep They dugs better not be up on the couch.

NEXT ISSUE 30 JUL, 6 AUG & 13 AUG

FESTIVAL SPECIALS Our next three issues will be special Edinburgh Festival editions, distributed free throughout the capital during August. Pick one up to find out the best of what’s going on across all the Edinburgh festivals, and keep an eye out for the next regular edition of The List, which hits newsstands on Thu 21 Aug. Gary Little is playing the comedy stage at T in the Park, Balado, Sun 13 Jul. His 2014 Fringe show, The Thing Is, is at The Stand I, Edinburgh, Mon 4–Mon 25 Aug.

Misadventures IN WONDERLAND

HAWAII? FINE THANKS, HAWAYOU? This issue, we sent intrepid columnist Alice White to try her hand at a Hawaiian shirt-making masterclass

you come to an oasis of a room with warm swing entirely black wardrobe. Emily told me that Hawaiian

music playing and a fancy rug. Do you make it from scratch?

businessmen wear the shirts with the fabric inside out so they’re subdued for work. Isn’t that like always

Of course. This isn’t a ‘try on a shirt’ class. From having an umbrella up so noone can see the top hat

hemlines to shoulders to collars, you’re going to you’ve insisted on wearing?

make the entire thing over eight hours. I went to What if you don’t want a Hawaiian shirt?

pattern-cutting school eight years ago (you might I’m pretty chuffed with my one and am desperately

want to gasp there like I said I’ve killed a man) but trying to think of somewhere, anywhere, I can

just because you ran on a track once doesn’t mean go in it. Believe it or not though, not everyone

you’re Usain Bolt. It was easier to say I’ve never likes the aloha shirt. I’m going to point out that, if

sewn anything before, which actually turns out to you’re one of those people, this might not be the

What exactly is it?

be i tting considering all technology progresses class for you, because you will leave with one. As

What exactly do you think it is? The title can’t be

(not just iPhones), and I was confused by the brand with everything in grown-up life, there are other

faulted on its transparency. The class is run by

new digital sewing machines. It made me wonder options: Emily also runs classes on kimonos, pom-

Emily Millichip, a designer who makes clothes and, what Buffalo Bill could’ve achieved if he’d had an

pom head pieces, skirts, knickers and men’s shirts.

guess what, loves Hawaiian dress. embroidery application.

It’s perfect even if you just want to announce you

Where?

What’s the deal with that print? made your own clothes, the same way as if you’re

St Margaret’s House, the arts complex in All the fabrics are handpicked from actual Honolulu.

Meadowbank, Edinburgh. It looks rough on the My favourite was sickly bubblegum pink with big

inside and the outside, but go along a corridor and white l owers, which is a bit different from my

telling everyone you have a gluten allergy. Visit edinburghpalette.co.uk for details of future Hawaiian shirt masterclasses.

120 THE LIST 10 Jul–21 Aug 2014