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HIGHLIGHTS
X-FILES Channel 5, Mon 8 Feb, 9pm New mini- series as Mulder (David Duchovny) and Scully (Gillian Anderson) investigate more supernatural and alien conspiracies.
HAPPY VALLEY: SEASON 2 BBC One, Tue 9 Feb, 9pm BAFTA-winning police drama starring Sarah Lancashire. Season two starts with a suspected serial killer stalking West Yorkshire. WALKING DEAD: SEASON 6 (PART 2) FOX, Mon 15 Feb, 9pm As the walls of Alexandria crumble, expect an explosive start to the second half of season six.
VINYL
Sky Atlantic, Mon 15 Feb, 2am If you just can't wait for Martin Scorsese and Mick Jagger's new series, set in the record industry circa 1970, stay up late for this US simulcast (also repeated at a more practical time the next day). MID MORNING MATTERS: SEASON 2 Sky Atlantic, Tue 16 Feb More inappropriate musings from Alan Partridge (aka Steve Coogan) as he hits the airwaves on North Norfolk Digital. See left.
STREET FIGHTER V PC / PS4, Capcom, Tue 16 Feb The ultimate brawler goes next gen with the fifth instalment of the world’s greatest fighting game.
SPECTRE DVD / Blu-ray, Mon 22 Feb The latest entry in the James Bond mega-franchise sees Daniel Craig facing Christoph Waltz in this classy action-packed spy feature. HOUSE OF CARDS: SEASON 4 Netflix, Fri 4 Mar Where next for shady politician Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) after Claire Underwood’s (Robin Wright) dramatic bombshell at the end of season three?
BOSCH: SEASON 2 Amazon Prime Instant Video, Fri 11 Mar Titus Welliver takes the lead in this noirish LA detective thriller based on Michael Connelly’s novels.
DAREDEVIL: SEASON 2 Netflix, Fri 18 Mar Marvel and Netflix ramp up their collaboration as season two finds DD facing ruthless gun-toting vigilante The Punisher (Jon Bernthal) and ninja assassin Elektra (Élodie Yung).
4 Feb–7 Apr 2016 THE LIST 95
'IF ANYTHING, I'VE TRIED TO DUMB UP' As Steve Coogan's finest creation returns to North Norfolk Digital, Henry Northmore pores over some of Alan Partridge's best (worst?) quotes from Mid Morning Matters
S teve Coogan's Alan Partridge is one of the greatest comic characters of all time. The sports presenter turned TV chat show host now finds himself surfing the non-analogue airwaves at North Norfolk Digital accompanied by the equally accident-prone Sidekick Simon (Tim Key). In celebration of Partridge's return for a second series of Mid Morning Matters, we collate our favourite quotes from his almighty reign as the digi-radio king. Read, enjoy and cringe . . .
‘You're listening to AP on treble M ie Alan Partridge on Mid Morning Matters.’
‘This is North Norfolk Digital, sustaining and maintaining our core listenership, in an increasingly fragmented marketplace . . . Just realised I read that from an internal memo. That wasn't meant for you to hear. Sorry.’ ‘Middle of the day? You bet. Middle aged? Maybe. Middle of the road? No way!’
‘Anthea Turner probably rides one of those big Dutch bikes with a basket and a bell. She'd cycle along in a l imsy cotton dress with the sun and the breeze in her hair. She'd discard her bike by the side of the road, i nd a nice spot in the i eld and lay down on a tartan blanket, with a copy of Grazia, a thermos l ask and a big jam sandwich. And maybe a beef paste cob.’ ‘Are you from Northern Ireland? I like the murals on the ends of the houses of men in balaclavas with Tommy guns. It must be like living amongst lots of Banksys, but Banksys who want to kill people that live near them.’
‘Let's listen to the dulcet tones of Simon Le Bon, which is actually French for Simon The Good.’
‘I like her face. She has a very round cherubic face, rather like a Victorian doll that's somehow been reanimated. Say what you like about Billie Piper but she is the most popular prostitute on ITV.’ ‘Depending on your point of view, Bernard Matthews is either responsible for the biggest ornithological genocide of recent times or he's the greatest farmyard-to-table strategist of the last 100 years.’
‘If you could make one species of animals extinct, which would it be and how would you do it? We have a text from Ted in Fakenham that simply says, “Cats. Hammers”.’
‘My greatest achievement is my consistent resistance to dumbing down. I think if anything, I’ve tried to dumb up.’ ‘Today we're talking about things you don't see much of any more. Already we have capes, tinned meat, Horlicks, sparrows, Hula Hoops (the crisps not the toy), hula hoops (the toy not the crisps), swimming pools with deep ends and asbestos.’
Mid Morning Matters with Alan Partridge, Sky Atlantic, Tue 16 Feb.