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FIRST&LAST TAPE FACE The silent comedy star takes on our Q&A in which he writes answers quietly about comets, kale and Crash Test Dummies

First film you saw that really moved you I had cooked a chicken soup and decided to leave it for several weeks and upon my return it had the most glorious film on it. You could look at it from several different angles and see incredible things. Last lie you told See above.

Last great meal you cooked There was this soup . . .

First movie you ever went on a date to Pumpkinhead 3. Absolutely brilliant. Last time you cried Closing credits of Pumpkinhead 3. 

First thing you do when you’ve got time off work Book another show. First crush My thumb. An incident with a hammer and a cabbage and some classical music.

Last book you read The operating instructions of the Bosch SMV68MD01G. An incredible story. First great piece of advice you were given Exist.

Last time you were starstruck Halley’s Comet in 1986. Not technically a star but very very impressive. 

First thing you’d do if you ran the country That would ruin the surprise. 136 THE LIST 1 Sep–31 Oct 2019

Last meal on earth: what would it be Probably kale. I mean, if the world is ending it’s already pretty bad.

Last time you bought someone flowers It was for Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond just to prove a point. 

First song you’ll sing at karaoke ‘Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm’ by Crash Test Dummies. Last time you exploited your position to get something I managed to get an extra hour in a library due to keeping quiet.

First object you’d save from your burning home Robert the rubber plant otherwise he would kick my ass. He’s brutal you know. Last funny thing you saw online A couch on the IKEA website. Ridiculous. 

First time you realised you were famous I’m not. I’m a clown.  First job Not applicable.

Last time someone criticised your work Robert my rubber plant is always the one to give me show notes. He’s brutal. First three words your friends would use to describe you Have we met?

Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it Robert the rubber plant. I didn’t realise how brutal he is First concert you ever attended It was Enya. This is a lie. Google it.

Last person you fantasised about Not applicable. 

First word you spoke Bah ha ha ha ha ha! Really? Last crime you committed I poured the milk onto the teabag and then added the hot water.

First book you read for a second time Coping with Déjà Vu. Last song at your funeral The song that never ends.    The Tape Face Show, SEC, Glasgow, Fri 27 Sep; Dundee Rep, Sat 28 Sep.

NEXT ISSUE 1 NOV

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A N G E O R G E S O N

Hard to believe, but soon we’ll all be thinking about the year that’s just gone in the arts, culture and entertainment world. That means it’s time for our 2019-defining Hot 100 where we pick the movers, shakers and influencers who have shaped the past year. Which person, act or organisation will follow up the success of last year’s victors, the Glasgow Women’s Library? Plus, we’ll look at the Christmas shows and New Year events that will have Scotland brimming with excitement as 2020 begins.