Strange phenomena special

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Just when you thought it was s

The mission: to investigate the paranormal in Glasgow and Edinburgh. The investigators: the finest psychic officers in MI5. Their names: Dana Dale and Fox Robertson. Their findings: top secret. Their report: read on.

12 THE LIST 29 Mar-12 Apr 2001

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Friday 16 March 2001

17:14 ROSSLYN CHAPEL, MIDLOTHIAN

i Fox Robertson drives me to the 500-year-old chapel. based on King Solomon’s Temple in Jerusalem and a reputed centre of mysticism. Robertson's tense. lts histOry tells of Masonic involvement (check The Brotherhood Files). The walls are said to be festooned With messages left by the Knights Templar for future generations of apron-wearing. brick-carrying apprentices. Rudolf Hess had it down as a possible Site for the Holy Grail.

We find nothing. it is dusk and the chapel Will not open for busmess until tomorrow. Scaffolding clings to the budding like dying ivy. oddly ithCuouS against the backdrop of the Pentland Hills. We circle the outer paddock: seven-foot gates keep the out-of-hours Visitor away. The Vibes are static. This may be one investigation we mis-timed. No wonder Robertson looks uptight. Findings: none. I raise a sceptical eyebrow as we speed away from Perspex tOurist guides and closed Stable Gift Shop. Paranormal commerce: an inevitable development.

19:23 M9 MOTORWAY EN-ROUTE TO BONNYBRIDGE

Robertson has taken a wrong turning and we're lost. lt

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afe to go out on the town, The List

urges me to lean out of the i.-.iindov.' and take pictures of the spooky trees on the dark country lanes. | decline. Many suggest that local UFO Sightings; are a hoax to increase t0urism but you can see why an alien vessel would be attracted: from the higher paints of the town it looks like a huge landing strip. Local MoD bases and exercises can explain some Sightings but not all. Robertson looks strangely at home.

BONNYBRIDGE HOSPITAL CAR We have driven around the outskirts of Bonr‘ybridge for 40 minutes attempting to fsnd a s:gn to the town to photograph for our records. So far we have found none. COLilo they have been. abducted? Findings inconclusive. File intist be kept open. Robertson is getting tense again.

21 :28 MARY KING’S CLOSE, EDINBURGH We arrive in the capital Just in time for Mercat's tom of the allegedly haunted belly of central Edinburgh. I let Robertson pay: he finds it easier to claim expenses. the Mir”) acc0untant has the eye for him.

22:17 COCKBURN STREET, EDINBURGH Informative and educational tour. Not very scary. The anCient hygiene levels in the City are the most terrifying thing. Robertson claims to feel cold spots in the room where a little girl with the plague has been seen. He is conVinced by a photo of the alleged ghosts face and a few stories. To me the evidence is preSumpttiOtis. Findings once more inconclusive.

gives me a chance to do a character analySis on my WAR He has some personality zero points: mood swmgs. erratic facial colour dysfunction. I will have to watch him. A classified file alleges his mother was abducted by alien life forms when he was ten. his father Spiralled into insanity and Robertson became the Newt Gringrich of the unexplained. Will compile a fuller report on return.

19:45 COUNTRY LANE, BONNYBRIDGE

We are watching the skies. Visibility is made difficult by light pollution from a nearby industrial plant. Robertson

onmlbridge

22:35 JARVIS LEARMONTH HOTEL, EDINBURGH

A suitable place to bed down, this well-to-do terrace from the 1830s is assooated with a number of supernatural tales. Robertson is losmg it. I am spooked by his inability to grasp the concept of a bath/shower mixer tap. He soaks himself and blames 'the ghosts'. He then inSists on a bottle of h0use red to sate his iangling hen/es.

Once he collapses into his all too familiar alcoholic stupor I proceed to take a few photographs; in particular. I am drawn to a corridor on the third floor. With nothing to report I return to my room.