Rear view

Phil Kay

Why does The Fast And The Furious leave you

feeling empty? I The Camp And The Tanned . . . Real, magnificent and decent works of art can be predictions of what will come, as opposed to just depictions of what has been. Art that is not magnificent, that is not a

project of love, is on the screen in front and above me now. And this bollocks is must on excruciating. It is showing stuff that could never . something else; when catastrophes

be, in a way that could never be. So I smile in

collusion at the woman who is leaving and I happen In life we do notcheer

shameless hit-and-run knocking us down and, although we had right of way and the lights had changed, although we were not in the wrong, we are crumpled and spread out in the gutter.

The whole thing is one big spoiler designed to stick to the ground when every film needs to fly. Oh wow, the thing that America has got so good at: producing movies that leave you empty. The international success of marketing them, the lovely tanned stomachs and cinema’s ability to bypass truth has to end. For all our sakes. Because if it ends, then there will be a

shift in thinking. All that ‘action’ always with

the bombs and the Independence Day faux glee

at being attacked, like please attack me so I can

attack back all the obsession, anyway, with explosions and disaster can fade.

These movies, like good ones, stick in the

mind and mind you, it is not that bad have a

power too. Movies have been withdrawn

recently because of their direct explosive

relationship to the events in New York. They are

close in time and maybe there will be fewer in the future

because they will always be close in subject.

This will be good because so many folk come out of big feelgood American movies feeling stupid and not good. There must be a reason for this; to put explosions in films to make them exciting must be wrong. Films must rely on something else, because when catastrophes happen in life we do not cheer. I

cannot stand by this film and say it is worth it - ‘it’

being time in life but it’s not that bad. It does little to inspire or make you think other than that it’s not that bad or that it’s anything more than a masculine, fuel-injection,

he Crass And The Spurious . . . The Fatuous And The Puerile . . .

would certainly have gone out soon after her to be in the daylight, in that reclaimed way, in that scavenged extra morsel, in that salvaged hour to see some things that I never would have seen; like a litter-flight or a kid’s run. Although to be honest it’s not that bad.

I would have gone with her had I not stayed, parked myself and watched The Fast and The Furious . . . The Fast As Well As The Furious . . . The Fast (Up To And Including Furious) . . . The Swift And The Mtfled . . . The Relatively Pacy And The Rather Annoyed . . . The Exceptionally Velocified And The Suicidally Embt'ttered. . . The Uber-Suped Nitrous Oxidised And The Quite Justifiably Hurt By ltAll . . . The Nippy And The Narked.

There are audience members here that feel compelled to talk out loud, authenticating the authenticity of under-hood equipment and names of the equipment. Yet the majority are slow and unmoved. We are The

Slow And The Bored. . . The Dulled , turbo overdriven, no-wheeldrive And The Under Estimated. horseless cart. But the garage it We are run over by this vehicle- W” came from should be closed. It's not

vehicle where the stars are the cars, a that bad, it's this bad.

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ROISIN MCCLOSKEY