SEEING OUADRUPLE Re: The Royal Tenenbaums (issue 436)

lnitally thrown then delighted by your four (or was it more?) covers for The Royal Tenenbaums. Very nearly went out and bought a second copy just so as I could have one with Gwyneth Paltrow on the front. But. hey. I'm no' that daft.

And thanks for the recommendation of the film. I had a rare old time.

Tony Stephens via email

BOOK NOW

Read this book and pass it on In Glasgow‘s Botanic Gardens recently I found a small black book. Written on the cover were the words ‘Read Me‘. The first page said simply: ‘Read this book. Write in it and pass it on.’

The idea is that people find the book, write something about themselves. sign and date it and note where they came across it. then take the book somewhere they love and leaveit

The pages that have been filled are fascinating. A short note from a man who lives on the streets moved me almost to tears. It spoke of his pain at trying to survive and how he prays each night for something to change his life. An entry by some pompous professor berated the book as a waste of time. But nearly all praised it and said how it had touched their lives.

Many people asked questions about who we are and why we are here. One woman‘s entry was a beautifully simple drawing of a bride. a groom and a church with the words: “Steven asked me to marry him last night. I said yes.‘

I wrote my entry and walked to a small park I had loved as a child. I then did one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I left the book in the shelter of a tree. l felt like I was leaving behind a friend.

I returned to the park the

2 THE LIST 28 Mar—l 1 Apr 2002

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next day. but by then the book had set off on the next part of its journey. I wish it and its finders well. But I am dying to find out who is behind this book and to thank them. On the last page is an address for the book to be returned when it is full and there‘s an email address. but I have not yet heard back. Does anyone know who is behind it? Allistair Burt

Highburgh Road

Glasgow

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED

Re: negative Equity

(issue 436)

Vince Willis has no real point to make as he has no real name. Anyone who wants to make a valid opinion on any issue should back it up with an identity.

The Stand has every right as a comedy promoter to hire who it wants. That is its prerogative. As an active Equity member, at present. I see no problem with the Stand's booking policy.

Janey Godley via email

FLYERED OUT Publicity dispute

My name is Brian ‘Blood' Reynolds and I manage Lapsus Linguae and Torqamada and put on monthly concerts under the guise of the Shamful Phallic Hymn. Anyway, me and a friend were flyering the Cathouse over-14s queue on two Saturday evenings with details of a Saturday afternoon (2—5pm) over-14s show featuring Lapsus Linguae at the 13th Note Club.

The first time (Saturday 2 February). I was told by a bouncer that if I didn't stop flyering they w0uld take great pleasure in ripping my dreads out one by one. They forced me off and I returned with a pair of reluctant coppers after persuading them to defend my rights as a citizen. I flyered the queue under police supervision. On our way off,

my friend was warned that next time he was seen in the area. he was getting raped. Police or no police.

Next Saturday evening I returned with a dozen friends to help with the flyering and the bouncers didn't know what to do . . . Except the first bouncer who pointed at the passing promotional workers and shouted: ‘Barred! Raped. barred and raped. Scum barred. Barred. raped.‘ Etc.

This is in front of 1008 of their own patrons. some probably aged about twelve.

Then. after three minutes and a job completed. about six bouncers. including what I could only presume was the main bouncer behind the scenes with a slash mark on his face. challenged us under the Heilanman's Umbrella . . .

The first bouncer threatened: ‘We are here!‘ and they forced some flyers from a c0uple of my friends. (I bet you they don't recycle either.)

I replied that we weren't looking for a fight and only wanted to promote a show. They knew that we were not even in competition with CPL so they had no grounds to be so aggressive.

Brian Reynolds via email

GRAY MATTER

Re: Billy Bragg and the Blokes (issue 436)

Hello. It is l, Sir William Boast MBE. Bard of Barking. Am I too late to advertise my appearance at your magnificent Usher Hall? Tonight I wiil be appearing with the Gentlemen in a lecture- based tribute entitled ‘The lnducement of Cringe' which will include practical examples of how to obscwe one‘s point of view through both inappropriate accompaniment and poor sonic reproduction of verbal sounds.

With remarkable subtlety I will show just how easy it is to make a giant chip appear on one's shoulder simply by repeated use of the phrase

‘David Gray'.

There will also be a demonstration on how to achieve that elusive Cringe factor by invoking the invaluable device known for centuries to entertainers and politicians alike as Parody Of Oneself. Towards the end of this lecture I will very briefly demonstrate why people would be prepared to pay good money to be entertained before returning to a finale of Inappropriate Ensemble Behaviour. billy-braggODuff-Half- Duff.org.uk via email

KRANKIE CALLER Re: Craic addicts

(issue 436)

l plead guilty on behalf of my nation to Dana. sectarianism, Riverdance and Bryan McFadden. but in case you think this gives you carte blanche to slag off the Irish some more. just remember that it'd be even more incriminating to publish a picture of a set of bagpipes with names like Runrig. Jim Kerr, Rod Stewart and the Krankies all over it.

Siobhan Connelly

via email

ROCK DOCTOR Re: Clinic album review Now. I like Clinic. but what exactly does Tim Abrahams mean when he says: ‘lt's an album that reduces rock'n'roll to its origins and in doing so relocates it to the present"? What's wrong with: ‘lt's a great album and if you buy it. you won‘t be disappointed? Much much simpler and to the point. Ewan Kean via email

DID WE GET IT WRONG?

We take great trouble to be as accurate as possible but. hey. we're all human and just occasionally we might get something wrong or miss something out. If so please tell us. Email editor@list.co.uk

"IE.

GLASGOW AND EDINBURGH

EVENTS GUIDE

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l ‘fiy‘lj‘i'j'j Publisher & General Editor Robin Hodge

Editor Mark Fisher

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Brian Donaldson

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Miles Fielder. LOuisa Pearson. Mark Robertson

Research

Helen Monaghan (Art). Kelly Apter (Classical. Dance 8 Theatre). LOUISa Pearson (Felk). Maureen Ellis (City Life. Comedy 8. Kids). Henry Northmore (Film. Jazz 8. Rock). Anna Millar

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Media Sales Rachel Shields Promotions Executive Sheri Friers

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Accounts Manager GeOrgette Renwick Accounts Assistant Manager Donna Taylor Reception Anna Millar Edinburgh Office Diana Dignan

Glasgow Office

Jane Hamilton,

Elaine Graham

New Projects Director Mhairi Mackenzie Robinson IT Andy Bowles

Art Helen Monaghan Books Brian Donaldson City Life Maureen Ellis. Jane Hamilton

Clubs Catherine Bromley (With Johnny Regan) Comedy Maureen Ellis Comics Miles Fielder Dance Kelly Apter

Film Miles Fielder

Food Barry Shelby Games lain DaVldSOn Gay John Binnie

Jane Hamilton

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Kids Maureen Ellis

Music Mark Robertson (with Norman Chalmers. Carol Main. Kenny Mathieson & Fiona Shepherd) Shopping Lowsa Pearson Television Brian Donaldson Theatre Steve Cramer Travel L0uisa Pearson Video/DVD Miles Fielder