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FIRST&LAST ED BYRNE The Irish stand-up reminisces The Irish stand-up reminisces about Prince, pork ribs and about Prince, pork ribs and pre-internet babysitting pre-internet babysitting
First record you ever bought It was the 12” version of ‘Let’s Go Crazy’ by Prince and the Revolution. The B side (‘Erotic City’) had the F-word in it which 12 year old me 12-year-old me was blown away by. Different tim by. Different times.
touring-level comedians to meet Hollywood stars. Last meal on earth: what would it be Did I mention how much I love well-barbecued ribs?
NEXT ISSUE WED 13 NOV
First film you saw that really First film you moved you moved you I have to admit, I welled up a bit at I have to admit the end of 127 the end of 127 Hours. His plaintive cry of ‘I need h cry of ‘I need help’ when he finally came across tho came across those ramblers was a lovely touch. lovely touch. Last time someone criticised your work Someone is probably criticising my work right now as they read this article. ‘Why are they asking him these questions? He’s shit!’
t Last lie you told Last lie you to Actually I’ve n Actually I’ve never seen 127 Hours. Hours.
Last great m Last great meal you cooked My older brother bought me My older a char a charcoal meat smoker a few few Christmasses ago. Th The pork ribs I do in i it take about a day to cook and would make you weep.
Fi First great piece of advice you were given advice y For perfect crac For perfect crackling, scald the skin by pouring skin by pouring a kettleful of boiling water o boiling water over your pork joint before putting i before putting it in the oven. Last time you Last time you were starstruck I met Johnny D I met Johnny Depp on The Graham Norto Graham Norton Show last year. That was fairly That was fairly awesome. Say what you like a what you like about The Graham Norton Show, i Norton Show, it’s a great way for
First object you’d save from your burning home Is my home burning? What a way to find out. I need to end this interview now! Last funny thing you saw online For funny online stuff you can’t go wrong with Adam Buxton. His ‘Richard and Judy: You Say We Pay’ sketch is awesome.
First job I used to babysit for the neighbours. In the days before satellite TV / the internet / DVD players. Man, that was boring.
Last song at your funeral Probably ‘Present Tense’ by Pearl Jam. That’s how it’s spelled, by the way. First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning Why didn’t I go to bed earlier last night?
IT’S CHRISTMAS Well, nearly. With that in mind, you should keep your eyes peeled for the two special supplements that’ll come free with our next issue: the Wish List, our annual guide to gifts, food, drink and festive cheer, and our new Edinburgh’s Winter guide, which provides handy pointers on the run up to the capital’s Christmas and Hogmanay festivities.
Last thing you think of before you go to sleep Look at the fucking time! ■ Ed Byrne performs at the Pavilion Theatre, Glasgow, Sat 2 Nov.
Misadventures IN WONDERLAND
PUTTING THE BOOT IN This month, we sent our intrepid columnist Alice to women’s football club Amazing Gracies. At the end of the day, was she over the moon or sick as a parrot?
What is football? Good question. Pointless but in a room full of people; this felt more inclusive.
nonsense, I think? I’m not going to be such a I had to pull my weight (hmmm) and play nice.
stereotypical idiot girl about this but really, I have However, because of a high turn-out, I was an extra
never played or felt that I ever wanted to play player on the green team, which probably was more
or even watch football. I’ve served my time with of a hindrance than a help: like how energy-saving
friends who put it on TV. I made sure I’d ask key light bulbs seem to make the room darker.
questions so I’d seem sociable, like: ‘which team is Was the LGBT aspect a big part of it? No. Well,
which?’ and: ‘how long does this go on for?’ not for me. As straight women are welcome and no
When I was standing outside the pitch, behind the one seemed to care about how into guys I was, the
metal fence which presumably was keeping all the matter didn’t come up. I’ve been to a lot of places
sport in, I had a horrible l ashback to the ‘time to with this column and this was one of the most
What did I go to?
avoid PE’ feeling. I was two minutes from telling the welcoming. I’ve always admired the different LGBT
Amazing Gracies is an LGBT-friendly women’s organiser than I was on my period.
community support systems but because sexuality
football club that has a friendly kick-about vibe.
What’s it like being part of a team? Really great, almost seemed irrelevant here, I reckon this was
Being a women’s team wasn’t what made it
actually. Being part of a team is something that simply a case of it being a good group of people.
particularly adventurous, nor was it the LGBT part. I non-sporty people maybe won’t really be able to
Did I score? No. Of course not.
went because I’m a misery and have to go to things get on board with. I fall into that category: I’ve just
that I wouldn’t normally do. As the winter months been a lone wolf in my exercise routine of going to
come in (starting 16 weeks ago), I also chose this get milk once every three days. In every other class
because it may or may not be close to my house. or group I’ve been to, I’ve been doing it by myself
■ Amazing Gracies Women’s Football Club meets every Wednesday at Drummond Community High School, Edinburgh, amazinggraciesfc.org.uk.
120 THE LIST 17 Oct–14 Nov 2013